Please don't think badly of me for this, but here's my current dilemma: Before admitting to myself who I am, I was annoyed with the LGBT+ community. I tried to get involved, but I was constantly getting called out for accidentally using the wrong pronouns or terms (this is how I learned what the word cis means). I grew to hate them. It's not the individuals that were the problem, but the culture. It was exhausting. I try to be respectful of everyone, but it was impossible. My issue was that the gender they identify as, made up everything of who they were. That's all they could talk about. Here's a specific example to help: I played video games with a trans girl. She was super sweet, but was constantly talking about how she was trans. We would be literally in a raid and she would somehow get into a tangent about how it wasn't fair her boss called her a he. That's the kind of people I kept running into. Now I'm torn between needing the community, but not necessarily wanting to be lumped in with the others. I'm still me, with all my likes and dislikes, but I just would feel complete as a guy rather than a gal.
a lot of people have been there. first step is realising that there is no such thing as "the LGBT+ community", like we ain't know each other. There are tons and tons of communities that sometimes overlap and sometimes don't. These communities often are really protective and end up feeling unwelcoming for the "new queers" that don't have any clue about how the whole orientation and gender ordeals work. When people are queer (especially when they had been identifying as a straight white male until then) it often takes a central place in their lives. Either because they wanna embody the struggles or because it's overwhelming and want to bathe in it until they get used to it. also sometimes people are just boring and don't have any personality so that's all they can talk about That said, not all communities are only about being queer. You don't have to enjoy being around everyone, you can build your own circles from these communities. about being lumped in with the others, bad news for ya, you don't get to decide. that said, being yourself first and foremost and keeping your quirks will do the trick most of the time. you'll be seen as an individual.
I understand what you mean. I'll try to keep that in mind. Ironically, I've always wanted a place I fit in and can be accepted for who I am. Yet when I'm presented the opportunity, I balk at it. -_-
