Complicated situation with the guy down the street

Honestly speaking, there's no more use of contemplating about the past. The damage has been done, all you can do now is to mend the things that are broken, for today and for the future. Sure, you may have had shortcomings to him in the past, but now that he's hurting, I think it's the best time to make up for the shortcomings you think you had.

And from what I could see in your situation right now, I guess the best thing to do is to let go of the relationship you two once had. He's hurt, and is very unlikely to pursue anything beyond platonic. Be his friend, be his brother. It may hurt that he may not be able to reciprocate right now, but being friends with him is better than having him push you away every time you speak to him.

 

i know how it feels being ignored on chats or messages, Souhtpaw. JUst dont let it bother you so much. Give it some time. Or maybe give him a call. talk to him.

i wish you all luck. I wish it'll get better soon

 

Well, you have mutual friends with him, right? Maybe you can ask them to talk to him for you.

 

I really feel for you Southpaw. I know what it's like to feel left in the dark, wondering what the other person is feeling about the situation. Thinking the worst. You're friend was struck hard by all this, even though his parents accepted him, he wasn't even ready to come out with his sexuality, whatever it is. He's still trying to figure that out.

Is it your fault?.....NO. HELL NO. This isn't something I'd normally say, but if you are going to blame anyone, blame your mom. Sneaking through your phone is one thing, but interfering with your therapy and pointing the spotlight on you in this awkward situation is wrong. As if that wasn't enough, she told your friends' mom. Okay, she not only crossed the line, but kept right on going. Now, you shouldn't resent her for it. I think she did it thinking it was in your best interest.

If I were you, I'd bring your mom to your therapy session again and let her know how much damage she caused. Or just tell her at home. But you really need to explain it to her and explain how you feel. She needs to be educated in sexuality among teens and sexuality in general. Have a serious talk with her and find some resources that will educate her on the subject.

Your friend is going to need time. Don't initiate any conversation for a while, unless it's very casual. He is feeling really awkward about the situation because of the way it went down. Trust me, I know waiting for him is going to be hard. You want him in your life... you think you need him. I've been through the same situation. What will help you is reaching out to someone. Talk to someone about it. Someone you can trust. EC is a good outlet for you right now. So you've actually taken that first step by posting to this forum.

Whether your friend comes through or not, and whether or not you will remain just friends, just know none of this is your fault and that you can and will move on from this. I really wish you the best, and would like to know how things go for you. So feel free to post an update. Take care Southpaw.

 

I've gave this soloution before but it is good. Put yourself in a situation with him with other friends around you like a meetup. It helps as it isn't as intimate so he won't get the wrong idea and he can't leave. It helps with bondage and a slow healing process. Also just give it time, any resentment he may have will eventualley ease off. Sorry if I've rambled but I've hoped it's helped!

 

Aww that sucks. I feel really bad for you. It does feel like shit when your crush gets a date. Hopefulley you still have him as a friend as he sounds like a good friend.

 

Sorry I meant like with myself. I think he's still emotionalley raw as:
1)He lost you(even if it was only for a while).
2)He probabley doesn't know who he is any more.
I think it will take time but I think you two can still be friends, I don't know whether you two will be romanticalley together again though however be hopeful.

 

Wow, I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hope you feel better.

 

wow, i'd be furious if my mom ever did something like that. it's "normal" for her not to understand, but to go off and go snooping around and contacting someone else about it is totally wrong. i mean, based on your age, you aren't exactly a child anymore. maybe it's time you start planing to move out (maybe with your friend)? it's never too early.. otherwise it just sounds like she will ruin you including the friendship you have with someone..

 

Southpaw, I am sorry to hear this happened. You've been hit hard by all this. You witnessed him with someone else when he should have reached out to you and told you himself. You're obviously going through a lot right now. Felling betrayed, angry, hurt.... But this says so much more about him than it does you. He obviously doesn't respect you enough to tell you the truth, and right now, he's probably trying to shake off the image his parents have of him. And also, trying to prove to himself that he's straight. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He doesn't respect himself. And right now, he's probably not stable enough for any relationship, whether with a male or female.

For you to get through this, you have to give it time. I know your feelings aren't going to dissipate in an instant. I went through the same thing. But if you focus on other things in life that are important right now, you'll find that you will heal faster. One day you will forget about this guy. Maybe sooner than you think. And one day, you WILL find someone who is good for you. Someone who isn't ashamed of themselves and respects themselves. And in return, can love and respect you as well. You will be much happier with someone who is proud of who they are, and proud to have you as a partner.

Things will get better for you. Trust me. And trust all the others telling you the same. It's true. Just reach out for help and advice. Someone to talk to. I wish all the best for you Southpaw. Take care.