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coming to terms

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by kendra1982, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. kendra1982

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    Hi All,

    I am in my early 30s and have been straight my whole life. recently i got into a very serious relationship with a lesbbian. life is great and everything is amazing. i just find it a bit hard to come to terms with in my head that im with a girl and will be for the rest of my life. does it come with time not feeling a bit weird about it? anyone else is the same boat??
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi,

    Welcome to EC. :slight_smile:

    I'm not in the same situation as you, but as with many people here, discovered attraction to the same-sex later in life.

    What do you mean by weird? Are you questioning your sexuality at the moment?

    Keep posting any questions. I hope you find EC to be helpful and supportive.
     
  3. RJay

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    All I would say is, don't think about the rest of your life. Life is unpredictable. Try very hard to live in the moment. I know it's hard, and I have real trouble with it, but it's the only strategy that brings peace.
     
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  4. silverhalo

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    Hey I came out later in life. It can certainly take some getting used to but it does get better. How long have you been in the relationship?
     
  5. kendra1982

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    about 9 months
     
  6. kendra1982

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    i guess by weird i just mean living for 30 years thinking wouldd find a man get married have kids white picket fence etc then suddenly it does a 360. and when your out and people assume your bf i find it really hard to correct i usually just go along with it
     
  7. silverhalo

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    9 months is still quite new. It says you are out to everyone so have people generally been supportive?
    I didn't come out until I was in my mid to late 20's so I know it can be weird and people always assume your straight unless I'm holding my girlfriends hand. The more you tell people the easier and more normal it will become.
     
  8. kendra1982

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    everyone has been great i havent recieved any negative comments, except 1 or 2 people questioning if it will last/phase etc. yea im hoping as i feel more comfy and it becomes my "normal" i will happily correct people when they assume i date guys
     
  9. silverhalo

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    So how did you meet your girlfriend? If you want to share that is?
     
  10. kendra1982

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    kind through mutual friends
     
  11. silverhalo

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    Nice. Lots of us here who have come out later in life who always believed we were straight find that once we have accepted our sexuality we spot lots of signs from our past that we missed at the time. Is this the case for you as well or not? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
     
  12. kendra1982

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    ummm kind of. my partner says i definitly had it inside of me. jsut things like being turned on by watching girl on girl and never by male/female sex. and a few other things along the sexual line. but then again i dont think i would date another girl. theres just something about her
     
  13. silverhalo

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    That's fair enough. You don't need another girl as long as you love the one you have :slight_smile:. Sorry I'll stop asking you millions of questions.
     
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  14. kendra1982

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    haha its ok thanks for your advice
     
  15. silverhalo

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    No worries there are lots of great people here if you want to talk.
     
  16. findingjoy

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    Yes.
    It seems people who come out later in life do it in two ways;
    • They slowly realize or accept urges they have been suppressing. the more acceptance comes the stronger the feelings get.
    • They meet someone of the same sex who awakens sexual and romantic feelings that are 100x of times stronger than anything they had with the opposite sex, which makes them realize they are gay.

    It sounds like you fall under the latter.
     
  17. kendra1982

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    yes i agree thats 100% correct. everything is so much more intense and amazing that i have ever felt or experienced. but i stil wouldnt class myself as gay? is that my issue i need to deal with? or will it come with time??
     
  18. silverhalo

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    Labels really aren't important. You don't have to give yourself any label, and if you ever want one then go for whatever feels right to you :slight_smile:
     
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  19. kendra1982

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    Thanks :slight_smile: i dont feel like i fall into a label, as i said it seems its just this one girl who has made me feel like this.
     
  20. kendra1982

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    also we are engaged. but i find it quite hard talking about and planning a wedding. i find it hard that im marrying a girl. will that settle down when im more comfortable etc?