My sexuality seems to be pretty fluid for the time being, and I don't know if it will even out or not. People on here always say things like labels don't matter and that sounds great, but in practice it isn't that easy. I'm in highschool, and would like the chance of dating a guy, which is only remotely possible if you're out (because otherwise you cant find other gay guys and they can't find you). I really want to come out because it just kills me keeping it a secret, but I don't want to lock myself into being gay and I don't want to say I'm bi if I end up not being bi. I would like to be able to say "I like guys" but without a firm label I feel like no one wil understand or take me seriously. Is there a way to come out without locking yourself in to a fixed orientation? Has anyone come out as fluid? If so how did that go?
thats gonna be really hard, if not impossible, the moment you say im into guys *BAM* results with being being labeled something you apparently dont want to be affiliated with for the time being (understandable) i think it would be better to just talk to some friends about it, talk more or read more posts about people in similar situations as you, or confide on people who are out and proud and their experiences towards acceptance, then maybe you wll find an answer that is much easier than being out without the label
My suggestion: come out as saying "I'm not straight" and leave it at that. ( 'w')b Then you can give them the details they want.
If there are any guys at your school you are interested in, then maybe you should just (without saying anything to anyone else about it, I'm not saying keep it a secret, just don't stand on a table and say "I AM ATTRACTED TO MALES." Does that make sense?) go up to him, ask him on a date or whatever and let that be the end of it. If someone asks about your orientation, just say "I don't prefer to limit myself with labels." You could make it very casual, then people won't think of it as a big deal.
Atticus, "I don't prefer to limit myself with labels" is a perfect idea. I second that motion. I totally understand how frustrating it is to not have a label. In your mind, you know it doesn't matter, but in real life, it helps you relate to other people. But if you tell people that you don't have a label, then there you go! Because you don't have one. So that's the truth, and it's something they can understand. And best of luck to you! Keep us updated!
Thanks for your guys' advice. I'm going to ask my friend who I'm out to how she thinks everyone would react to that/ if she thinks they would understand. On a sidenote though, if I were to just ask a guy out and never make a formal "coming out", what about all the millions of times I'm with friends and I get comments like "Is there a girl you like?" or "Is there anyone you like?" or even just when I do pretty gay things and everyone comments about it. Should I just start being totally honest without ever saying "I'm gay/bi/fluid/whatevertheheckiam"?
I would generally recommend honesty, but if you don't want to come right out and put a label on yourself, you could answer without one. If they say "Is there a girl you like?" and there is not, you can just say there's not. If they ask if there is anyone you like, and there is, you can say yes, but that you don't want to talk about it more. You can use the opportunity to come out if you want, but if you don't want to, you can still be honest.
