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Coming out to religious parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DinoArtist, Jan 11, 2018.

  1. DinoArtist

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    Mainly because I'm still riding the New Years resolution bandwagon I've thought about finally coming out to my family. They are deeply religious. I don't think they'll disown me rather just deny that I am transgender. To be honest, I know I can't live a normal life. My sexuality was always questioned during my school days. I've always been a little shy and strange. Now I feel like I'm simply too far gone when it comes to relationships. But that's ok. So no way will I'll be able to appear straight. If that makes sense. As far as the religion goes. All I can say is that I'm not Satan. If I was then why would I still be sitting here dealing with this. If I had magical powers and can fly around and disappear I probably would simply just magically switch genders. Anyway thanks for reading. Maybe I'll just drop hints here and there.
     
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  2. quebec

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    DinoArtist....There is a lot involved when making the decision to come out to parents. You don't tell us your age and/or if you are living with your parents. Your relationship with them is very important when deciding when or if to come out to them. That fact that you are Trans may make it more difficult...it's hard to know. Can you tell us a little more about yourself and the relationship you have with your folks? That would help us help you! In the meantime...hang in there! ....David
     
  3. Glitters

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    Stay strong. There's no need to come out to them if you don't feel ready yet.
     
  4. DinoArtist

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    I still live with them and I'd say I have a good relationship with them. I don't see my extended family much at all anymore though.
     
  5. Jackie Ray

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    If you ever want to talk about it, I understand my mother was also deeply religious.
     
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  6. DinoArtist

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    Sure. Thanks
     
  7. PatrickUK

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    In your original post, you don't say much about the specifics of your parents religious beliefs, other than to say they are "deeply religious". What exactly do you mean by "deeply religious"? What religion/denomination do they belong to? Sometimes, people can have very strong religious convictions, without being hostile towards LGBT people or other minority groups. Many people of faith regard hate, judgement and prejudice as wicked and sinful. A lot will depend on how/where they worship and what sort of ideas they have bought into.
     
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  8. DinoArtist

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    Baptists. It's kinda hard to explain because each church is different. I guess there may be some Baptists who aren't particularly transphobic. I can't recall anything in the bible that says being trans is a sin. But to be honest everyone sins quite a bit so idk. Well it depends on what you believe sin is. My mom is particularly transphobic. Basically everyone in my family is to a degree. I personally believe that many of the stories in the bible are metaphors and analogies. Maybe some of it was true. Ive just never had any supernatural experiences in my life. I can't observe these things in nature so idk. Are there Christians that aren't homophobic and transphobic? That's new to me. I think it comes from this sort of idea or saying that God made you this way so you should be like this. And then they'll get dramatic with it and say oh your like spitting in gods face for being trans. Like let's say you make a piece of art and someone comes along and says, oh, needs more yellow, and just gets on with painting or whatever. Actually I don't imagine God, or the Annuaki or whatever sat down and personally created me. I haven't came out of the closet yet so idk. Maybe I'm just fretting for nothing. My parents love me. But all love is conditional so there's that. I'm just tired. I've been through too much. It's hard for me to describe things especially when you're talking about something that everyone seems to have a different take on. I appreciate the reply. Religion is a touchy subject. Sorry if I accidentally offended anyone.
     
  9. StarRunner

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    I'm an atheist and I have a brother who converted to Jehovah's Witness many years ago. He and his wife are deeply religious in practising their faith. They have been very supportive of me, much to my surprise, and their only fears were related to LGBT violence and STD's such as AIDS or HIV+. It was a learning experience for me not to judge someone just because they are of faith. Each situation depends on the individual and how they interpret their own faith.

    Your situation is completely different from mine, however, and your last post raises serious concerns about coming out to your parents. You're saying that your mother is especially transphobic and that other family members are as well. It's hard to say if their perceptions are based in religion or transphobia. I really don't see any benefit in coming out to them while you are living under their roof. This should be a discussion for another day, preferably when you have our own housing and you are not dependent on them for a roof over your head. I worked with street-involved youth in the past, and studies consistently showed approximately forty percent of homeless youth self-identified as LGBT, primarily because they were thrown out of their homes after being discovered or opening up their parents about their sexuality.

    Please... be very careful about this. You may not get the response you are hoping for. Take care.
     
  10. PatrickUK

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    If you are in doubt and you rely on your parents for safety and security it is a good idea to exercise caution because you don't want to compromise your own wellbeing. It's not easy to remain silent and hide who we really are, but it's not easy to live in a tense or hostile atmosphere either.

    You're right that there is a divergence of opinion among Baptists - some are incredibly hostile, but others have a more tolerant attitude. It's not always easy to know, but it absolutely is the case that there are many Christians who are neither homophobic or transphobic.
     
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  11. DinoArtist

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    I can afford to live at my own place. I'm just not too keen on burning bridges. I don't have much of a relationship with my extended family. But I do with my parents.
     
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  12. Naters2000

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    Hey! I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. And to answer your question, no, not all religious people are transphobic or homophobic. But, I wouldn’t come out to them if a bad reaction is possible. I know it’s hard, but I’d come out once you’re financially stable.

    -Nate
     
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  13. DinoArtist

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    It's ok. I'm just trying to stay positive and move forward. Thanks.