Hi everyone! I am Alessio, i know im gay for over a year or so now. I always thought i was different than others and that only grew until i was fifteen. That year i activly investigated why i felt different and why i did not care about girls the way my friends did. Because i've been hearing about it since primary school, i found out i was gay pretty soon. Now im sixteen and the last year has been an emotional journey of accepting myself as who i am. At this moment, i feel like i want to come out because i cant stand pretending to be someone i am not anymore. I am done with being this fake person who has to wear this ridiculous mask all day. I wonder if high school is such a good place to come out due to all the judgemental people around. Even though my self esteem has grown a little, i would still describe it as fragile. I hope my confidence will grow when i come out but to do that i need your help. My family has always been dropping hints about my possible sexuality, and i guess they'll be supportive even though it might take them a while to process it. I have a couple of close friends i can trust, but i just dont know how to handle this. I mean it is such a big secret and i dont want it to flow into gossip and turn into something i dont want behind my back. Is there any advice you can give me? Where should i start? Thanks, Alessio
I'm a high school senior who's still in the closet publicly LOL when I say publicly its because my "out" status is really weird so please try to follow this XD Okay so twice I was put into a mental home for depression for about 7-8 days each visit. In the hospital there was 6-7 other teens there while I was each visit. During the 1st visit, I still was really shy about it and didn't come out in group therapy or my roommate. I ended up telling just 1 girl, and she told another girl. I felt pretty betrayed but at the same time I was never gonna see any those people again anyway. There was 1 guy who had previously mentioned how he hates the gays and I was worried if I came out to him he'd get in my face about it. The 2nd visit, all new people. I came out during my very 1st group therapy session in a room with 7 people I literally just met 5 minutes ago LOL And it felt GREAT the moment I said "I'm gay" in front a big group I felt so relieved. There was 2 people there who admitted to being uneasy with homosexuals, and they didn't really hang out with me. Which you might think made me feel bad people were ignoring just because how I was born, however it was GREAT!! THE HOMOPHOBES, WERE AVOIDING ME! LOL After years of trying to avoid people who say homophobic things, it made me so happy that the people who said it, were avoiding me! I knew that anyone who was talking to me at that point accepted me! The reason I told you those stories is because "how" you come out can change the "feel" of the whole experience in my opinion. Whether or not you plan to come out is ENTIRELY UP TO YOU and even I haven't done it! But I will say IF! you've decided you're going to, either ONLY tell people you COMPLETELY trust to keep it secret, OR just tell everyone and own it. Not. completely committing to 1 or the other feels bad and stressful. But that's just my opinion XD
First i would suggest coming out to the friends and family that you either know or are pretty sure will support you. It's good to have a strong support network when coming out. If you want it doesn't have to go any further than that while you are still in high school. But when i came out i found it worked best to just act as if it wasn't a big deal. I would casually reference my girlfriend in conversation and people would be like "you're gay?" and I'd be like "yeah". The end. It's that easy. All in all it's important to remember that high school isn't going to matter as much as you think it's going to a few years after you graduate.
