coming out advice? i had the idea of writing a letter before I leave for school some time and then I won’t be at home when she reads it so then I wont get her initial reaction if its bad. I just need some more advice
im just not sure how much longer I can stand being closeted to my own folks :/ even if they arent the MOST supportive, I should just tell how much some of their comments affect me and maybe if I come out then they might try to stop themselves saying these comments, idk. I think I may know a couple of supportive teachers, I think I overheard a conversation with a friend of mine asking for a preferred name( they are either FTM or NB, idk, but they use He/They which I think is cool!)
im also working on 'subtle' pride room decor on my wall! IDEK if that's subtle tbh tho lol, I guess it will just give me a bit of comfort until I feel safe enough to actually use a real pride flag
For the letter, you can try to anticipate the questions they may ask you and answer them. I really hope your coming will go well ! Good luck !
No matter how attentive, parents generally are pretty obtuse when it comes to their kids. Many times, we (parents) see them (offspring) in a different light than they see themselves. I know I had to work hard to keep the lines of unbridled communications open with my son. The art as a parent is to be hyper observant and to LISTEN. I have seen a lot of well-meaning parents fail at that. So as a daughter, keep that in mind and realize they love you, but may need guidance to understand what you are trying to convey. I guess what I am saying is, subtlety is lost on most parents. Even the most caring ones. I understand starting with a mini hammer might seem prudent, but you may have to switch to a sledgehammer to get through the preconceived notions they have of you as their child. Peace, and good luck!
Edit: my mum doesn't suspect a thing with my pride art, she said it was just super OCD lol, I probably have OCD
Hello, @GayRoachGal! Hopefully I can be of some help. Firstly, how do you think your folks will react? If there's even the slightest possibility of them becoming abusive, please consider holding off until you have a safety net in place--such as a trusted friend or family member you can go to (perhaps even stay with) if things go badly. If abuse isn't a concern, then I think the letter is a smart idea, even if it might put you on pins and needles all day, wondering what your mother thinks. I agree with @Bludzee in anticipating some of the questions your parents might ask, so that you can include the answers in the letter. But brevity can be equally as useful. If you use clear, concise language to get the message across and encourage them to take their time and ponder on it before discussing matters with you, any knee-jerk reactions they might have upon reading might cool by the time you're able to talk to them. Whatever way you choose to tell them, whenever--just be sure this is something you are both willing and ready to do.
I agree with Isbjorn, as a parent, lots of things go right over my head. My daughter came out to me when she was 17, I didn't see it coming, she was worried and scared. I said it was fine, that I loved her, of course me coming out to her shortly after makes this situation slightly different. The point is that some parents need to be told directly. I also agree with BiGemini87, please make sure you are safe. I hope it goes well and that your parents react in the way that we all hope they do.
