There's a close guy friend that I came out to last year as a lesbian. Let's call him Nick. We are part of this group of friends that just recently got together. He's the only one I'm out to, and since we're close, obviously the whole group thinks we should be together. There's another guy. Let's call him Jake. He's also part of this small group of friends. We all go out together at least once a week. I've been friends with Jake for a while, but we never got really close until this friend group formed. He's a really affectionate guy, and although he is straight, I honestly had suspicions that he was gay at first because of his effeminate interests and behavior (sorry, I know I shouldn't stereotype and I don't believe them). He has a personality, that if on a girl, I would be attracted to. Jake and I get along really well, and in just a week we have gotten close. We cuddled for like half and hour at a house party, and I also cuddled with Nick (the one I'm out to). We're just an affectionate group of people and I honestly love to cuddle with everyone. Jake and I have been talking a lot and he has been saying things that kind of give me the impression he likes me more than a friend. Nick, the one I'm out to, also said something that gave me the impression that Jake told him he likes me. He was kind of warning me that things could get awkward. I care about Jake a lot, and I don't want to lose this friendship we have going. What do I do if he asks me out? There's this part of me that just thinks I should go out with him, because honestly I feel weird fully coming out when I haven't dated anyone, guy or girl. I'm still really sure that I'm gay, but I know that I am slightly biromantic (I know I'm not bisexual though). But I would also feel weird going out with Jake since I came out to Nick, his close friend. I feel like I am wrong either way. Sorry if this post doesn't make any sense. I'm tired right now.
Makes perfect sense! If you are certain about being gay, you need to tell him, and he needs to know that soon, before you become further enmeshed in a "situation" that will get more difficult to extricate yourself from. It's tempting, I know, when you haven't had any relationship yet; but you don't need to get into one just to avoid damaging a friendship, and you definitely shouldn't get into a relationship to test your orientation. This involves another human being who could get badly hurt, either way. Once he knows that you're gay, tell him simply what you told us: that you are afraid of damaging your friendship, a friendship that you value very highly. I would think he would appreciate your honesty, despite feeling a little disappointed. A very small pain indeed compared to the alternative.
