Christian Techniques to get rid of your homosexuality

I would also point out that, in that film, the one person who was still married to their spouse of the opposite gender said she was bisexual. Exactly zero people in that movie said they actually saw meaningful, lasting change of any kind to their orientation.

 

I would further add that the guy in the film who is leading a current ex-gay program has major unresolved issues. Anyone who observes body language and eye movement will see what I mean. There is a huge disconnect between what he says and his outward demeanour. It's like he is walking around in an aura of shame and I genuinely worry for him.

 

That guy looked desperate and ready to cry all the time. Definitely not someone who had found “freedom”. I definitely worry for him. Especially especially after seeing several the Exodus alum talking about experiencing either suicidality or self-harm. None of them walked away from that unscathed. And the guy you’re talking about does not look like he’s in a good place emotionally.

 

I haven't actually seen Pray Away but hearing this stuff about that person in it worries me . It's a documentary right? Please tell me that guy is ok now or at least getting there?

 

Yes, it is a documentary. No idea about his current state since I’m not sure when it was filmed. It didn’t seem likely good and he doesn’t seem to have surrounded himself with people who are likely to be helpful. It’s scary and sad. But, one of the comments the film made is that people are going to stay on this toxic, deadly loop until churches figure out they’re as wrong on this as they were about slavery and women’s’ rights (and they were and they are…in some cases the exact same problematic denominations then and now…I’m looking at you Southern Baptists).

 

It’s also why the 1946 movie coming out next year is so important. People don’t know that. That the word “homosexual” wasn’t even in there until 1946 and the people who put it there admitted it was a mistranslation. So many lives ruined and lost over that.

 

Aw that sounds awful.

But yes they are as wrong as they were about slavery and woman's rights.

 

The movie didn’t use the words “Stockholm syndrome”, but I absolutely feel like it’s what that guy had going on and I think it’s what Melissa has going on. You’re in this community that’s completely toxic and horrible for you. It may be killing you, either literally or just killing your soul. But, it’s the only community you have and know and you can’t see in that moment the something better is out there. Something life giving that actually builds you and supports you in a way that’s realistic and sustainable and actually, genuinely loving. (Not, “”we’d love you if you just weren’t so you”). So, you cling on and you convince yourself that you love it and that it’s good for you. All the while it’s crushing you and robbing you of life and peace and fulfillment. That’s the crux of what I saw in this movie, it’s what I lived myself for a long time, and it’s what I see in Melissa’s story she’s shared here.

 

I am in the UK, this is quite shocking to me, I am wondering if it is more common outside of UK such as America? Religion has a lot to answer for, as does the human race

 

I never looked at it like that. That is a very insightful perspective and thank you for sharing.

 

Oh, I think America exported conversion therapy. Exodus International started in the US. I think it’s just any denomination that’s very fundamentalist and patriarchal and especially if it leans right wing. The American obsession over this all started with the “silent majority” stuff in the 70’s and 80’s with Jerry Falwell and it was all about ginning up Christians to get them to vote Republican. That’s what 90% of this is about, I have learned in recent years. It’s bizarre, but it actually ties back to racism. The Carter administration threatened to remove tax breaks from Christian schools that wouldn’t desegregate. So, the GOP swooped in and said “you get us voters, you’ll keep your tax breaks”. So, this was part of the strategy to get Reagan elected. This and abortion (which they also didn’t care about in the 1970’s. The southern baptist convention actually put out op-Ed’s in support of Roe V Wade in the 1970’s believe it or not. They weren’t rabid about that until that Reagan election).

It’s not solely what broke my shelf faith-wise, but this and Kathy Baldock’s talk on YouTube on how the word “homosexual” came to be in the Bible put it on duct tape and bailing wire. It’s soul crushing.

 

I feel the same, all these things which some I guess are essentially trying to 'pray away the homosexuality and anti-gay cults' etc. I'm like wtf, there's such things!? It shocks me and saddens me as it seems it does you.
Stay Strong.
I just hope the human race and religion gets better and more accepting.

 

All I can say is:
:O

 

How do you know if it will works, the Christian techniques? Did you stop thinking about women?

 

Watch “Pray Away” on Netflix. It doesn’t work. Not long term. It’s a fraud. You can maybe (at best) dissociate women away for awhile, but I’ve had two therapists tell me that’s horrible for your mental health, and I can tell you I have anxiety from doing it. It also eventually took a physical toll.

Not sure how many other ways we can say “this is a bad idea. It doesn’t work. It’s dangerous. People who say it works are usually at best saying misleading things and at worst outright lying. Every major mental health advocacy organization in the world has said it’s ineffective and dangerous. Stop”

But, seriously. Stop. Nothing good is going to come from it. Just stop.

 

I am sorry about what happened to you :/

 

I just want you guys to learn from what happened to me and a whole lot of people like me in my generation of lgbt Christians. My story is really stinking common and it’s not remotely the worst one out there. Not by a long stretch. And there are all these books, and podcasts, and interviews, and mental health resources, and now films out there describing what happens to people who try to go down this path. There are people describing on HERE what happens when you go down this path.

I want you to learn from them so you don’t make the same painful, costly mistakes.

Life is too short and too precious to waste it trying to mold yourself in impossible ways to appease bigots. It just is.

Accept who you are. Be yourself. Live your life. Anyone who tells you that you are not ok as God made you…they’re not wise and they’re not worth space in your life.

 

Coming from a quite Catholoc country, I have to say that religious take at any kind of psychological issues fails. Because religion relies on abuse and shame as tools to make people behave. But it works only outwardly and inside - the damage only makes people depressed, anxious and makes it harder to keep up the appearance, and this is where the pedophile priests come from. They supress their sexuality so hard, probably they hate themselves for even having single thoughts about sexuality, that it backfires, because you can't get rid of such basic impulses. Religion is just unreasonable in its approach. It's as if someone tried to get rid of the feeling of hunger or thirst. It doesn't make any sense.

However, not having close people vesides ones that are toxic is a tough thing. It's tough to find a new "family of friends", often it's impossible for years.

 

Being raised Southern Baptist I was taught if you sinned you needed to pray for forgiveness. It's taken me many years to realize being gay was not a sin and that I am still a Christian. Once I accepted who I was my Christian walk has become a lot stronger.