Hi, I am currently a junior in high school and trying to figure out where I'd like to go to college. I am currently caught in a bit of a tough situation because my parents (who are religious, and who will be helping me pay for my education) want me to attend a Christian college, even though I am bisexual and not quite sure what my religious views at the moment are. To give this a little bit of context, let me back up a bit. I've been going to private Christian school for years now, and though I prefer it to public school (I was having lots of problems with bullying, etc. when I was in public school), I'm still not a huge fan of it. For a long time, I've really felt like I am undercover and having to hide who I am for fear of judgement or discrimination (though I've met some people who are not judgmental, they are not the norm). I've just been waiting until I can be out on my own so I can surround myself with people I don't feel awful and dirty around, and who don't force their opinions on you like they're the only plausible ones in the world. I guess the straw that broke the camel's back this year is when I saw the suggested topics we are to choose from for a paper in our (mandatory) Bible class, one of them being "What does the Bible say about homosexuality?" I feel like I'm in a homophobic school, in a homophobic town, and in a homophobic family, and I want out, and to be in an environment where I can be myself without having to live with guilt and fear. I also feel incredibly stressed and rushed because I need to figure out which colleges I'm going to apply for very soon, and I'm stuck with three options: 1) Riding it out in a homophobic environment for a few more years (which I really don't want to do, especially since I plan on studying psychology, and I really don't want to be bashed over the head with how literally the only way to be happy is to be with God and that homosexuals are mentally ill), 2) Telling my parents I don't want to go to a Christian university, which seems nearly impossible, considering the fact that they already disapprove of this "lifestyle I've chosen for myself" and that I really don't want them to find out that I'm questioning my religion (because that could possibly cause very serious problems), or 3) Going to a Christian school, but doing everything in my power to find one that's more open-minded towards people like myself, which is what I'm seriously leaning on at this point). I feel like my entire future and mental wellbeing hinge on this, and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice for me? Also, I already have been doing research and I will continue to, but does anyone know of any Christian colleges that are generally liberal and maybe have positive views towards LGBT people (preferably in Texas, because that's where I live, but I could move)? Thank you to all who read this, and thanks in advance for any responses.
I was in a similar position. My religious parents strongly disapproved of my choice of University (which is quite liberal). But I can say going here was one of the best decisions I have ever made. The tremendous support or LGBT people makes life possible, and being myself actually enjoyable. I do not have to pretend to be someone else or censor whole chapters of my life to avoid judgment. In the end it is your future and your choice. If you want to go to a liberal college, though, with their financial support, you are going to need to sell them on it. Warm them up to the idea. Make it clear which college you've chosen and why (for reasons not including LGBT support). It would be unreasonable for them to demand that their adult child go to only a Christian school if you don't want to. Be stubborn. These choices effect the rest of your life. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
I'm inclined to agree with Kobo. The choice of college or university has a profound impact on the rest of your life... much more so than the choice of elementary or high schools. What you might be able to do is find a school that is historically religiously focused, but has for the most part moved to a more mainstream non-religious curriculum. Wesleyan University in Connecticut, or Oberlin College in Ohio are two schools with a deep history of religious study in their founding but are now very liberal and open environments. (Those schools also happen to have large LGBT populations.) As hard as it is, I think you can make the (credible) argument that since you want to study psychology, and since the overwhelming majority of the jobs in the field are in non-religious settings, it makes sense for your career to attend a school that does not apply a set of religious values to the study of psychology. (Actually, degrees from some of the most hardcore Christian schools that teach psychology might be ineligible for certain jobs due to the non-scientific approach they take. ) On a separate note, if you are considering becoming a psychologist (therapist), unless you are pretty certain you are going all the way through to a Ph.D., I'd suggest at least considering social work as an alternative to psychology. Masters-level social workers get the same training masters-level psychologists do in terms of therapy, counseling, and counseling theory, but get a much wider education about family and community systems, and the role society plays in influencing individual behavior. Additionally, the scope of practice for masters-level social workers is much, much broader in most states than for masters-level psychologists; this means you can basically do more with the MSW than with an MA in psychology. Additionally, a BSW will allow you to practice as a social worker in many states, where almost no state recognizes a bachelors in psychology as a degree eliigible for licensure. Let me know if you have questions about that.
Thanks for the advice. I'll also be sure to check into that social work possibility. Thank you so much.
