Choice vs. No Choice

Not at all a choice. Your friend is just... confused. I guess =/

 

No, of course not. I can't turn off my attraction towards men. Sexual orientation isn't JUST a verb, either. I don't have to have gay sex or hold hands with a boy to be "gay." I'm single, attracted to men, thus = homo.

 

I personally do not believe that it's a choice. I mean, it's a choice in the way that you can choose your actions, but it's not a choice in that you can't choose your orientation. It's like if someone came up to you and said, "You like apples more than oranges, right? I mean, it doesn't matter to me, but if you say that you like apples, I'm going to punch you. It's your choice though. You can either say that you like apples or oranges. No pressure." We could choose to eat the orange, but really we were just forced into it.

What I'm saying is that it certainly isn't a free choice.

And along those lines, even if it were a choice, it doesn't matter. Let's pretend for a moment that we all chose the road less travelled by for shits and giggles. It shouldn't matter. It's our choice and it isn't anyone's business what we choose to do.

But yes. Not a choice. Not really.

 

No one would ever CHOOSE to be gay/bi/lesbian/trans/ etc...

Why would someone WANT to be gay-bashed, threatened, disowned by family, alienated by old friends, ex-communicated from the church (or whichever religion you belong to), abused, verbally and/or physically, denied the choice to marriage by law, stigmatized, blamed for the spread of AIDS/HIV, being a joke in media interpretations, shall I go on?

It's INCREDIBLY difficult being "different" from other people and no one would CHOOSE the hurt that one goes through when one is gay (etc.). We endure the hurt because it's love that we look for-

And love is worth it...

LONG STORY SHORT: No, it ain't a choice.

 

I am actually immensly curious as to how your friend choses their attraction. It's like...me making a choice to like chocolate. How would I do that? I just like it. Have you asked him how he goes about making that choice?

 

ok... here's my theory, it's a choice only when you are very young. then you forget what you chose till puberty hits, and your body remembers.

and when you are young, even just wanting to be special without knowing in what way can force the choice.

 

Saying that something is a choice is a way to feel you have control over different aspects of your life.

 

Can you expand on this? I don't really understand.

 

I don't think its a choice, I'm Bisexual and they way i define my sexuality is i'm attracted to both sex's equally, however i've found that i have an easier time connecting with men on an emotional level and its easier for me to open up to men then it is when i'm with women so i tend to lean more towards men.

And this is a little off topic but even if I was given a choice today i would still choose to be Bisexual, without a doubt in my mind (and no i'm not just saying that either, theres a reason for that but not the right place for it[this thread that is, my wall would be more suitable])

I was going to say why but when i got done typing i realized i was ranting and wrote a frigg'n essay instead of short answer

 

Tell that person to try having feelings for the same sex. (y)

 

lets put this as a 2 sided coin one is str8 the other is gay and it it santd ups it bi like boths exactly the same .

if some one it more attracted to the other sex the coin would be flat with the str8 up
while if he is attracted to the same sex the gay side will be up

so what im saying is that there is no bi but rather depending on what you like more that is what you are defined as

so if you like 51 percent girls and 49 percents males your str8
but if it was 51 males 49 females then your gay
so if by any chance you like exactly both sexes the same your bi

FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE

 

the way i see it is i will fall in love with a guy because i am gay. and i know that being gay is not a choice because i cannot-no matter how hard i try-force myself to choose who i love. if i could choose love i'd probably feel no pain because every time someone i loved left, died etc. i would just choose not to love that person anymore. and anyone who has lost someone knows that you can't just choose to stop loving.

 

Wait.
What?
What does this have to do with choice? Huh?

Does that mean that I'm some sort of freak since my attraction to the sexes varies constantly? Occasionally, I prefer girls. Sometimes I prefer guys. And sometimes I'm fifty-fifty. Maybe my coin is in a vacuum.

Also, your theory is ... well, wrong. I'm disagreeing. Try to think of sexuality as a spectrum or a scale. The coin analogy does not do it justice.

 

If it was a choice i would have made the decision to be straight long long ago because with my family it is almost dangerous to be gay. So NO it is not a choice

 

very young as in how young, cause i definitely chose girls when i was 4. and if youre talking too young to make conscious decisions, well, an unconscious decision is an oxymoron in itself.

and a forced choice is also not a choice. you're thinking of something else.

 

sooooooo true ....

we dont choose to love who we do and for some of us the person is the overiding factor not the gender, allthough emotionally i do connect better with guys beeing one its easyer to relate, of course this doesent make insecurities or worries any less prob more as its on such a same level.. of comparison, so no i didnt choose to bea deprest nervous wreck in constant fear that my family life will be ruined at any time that i will lose all i know. i just want love who it comes from teh gender dont matter.

your friend saying he can switch feelings for same sex on and off and chooses to be straight... well you can choose which gender to proceed with but you cant deny your feelings for the other a switch like that dont work. i can switch my emotions off but its not nice...

every9one should jjust be happy beeing whoever they are and just find love

 

i just feel like the peple who claim to b bisexual are just not accepting themselves since in the end most the bis here will go for the same sex

 

I will concede that many homosexuals go through a "compromising" stage in which they "decide" that they are bi. I certainly did, but I was still 100% gay; I just couldn't accept it. However, just because many gays and lesbian go through that stage doesn't mean that everyone who calls themselves bisexual is going through that stage. Real bisexuals are born that way and are not just gays in denial. To paraphrase a poster I once saw somewhere, "Some people are bisexual; get over it."