I joined this because I thought I was asexual. I still feel asexual but apparently my definition was wrong. I got a bunch of replies telling me I wasn’t and I can’t disagree with experts or whatever. Now I feel bad because I love this website and the people here but it turns out I’m not LGTB or anything close to part of the community. I’m a straight little write girl. Does this mean I should leave? Does it make people uncomfortable when I post replies telling them they are brave or I’m inspired because I’m not part of the community? Am I even allowed to stay and use this site regularly?
I think it would be contradictory to say you wouldn't be welcome here, and while this is an LGBTQ+ resource, I think it's safe to say that allies make up that resource as well. I would not tell you to leave. There are a few cisgender straight individuals on here who happen to be family or friends of members of the LGBTQ+ community. I read your other post and as much as I agree with the others that you should be careful when labeling yourself (there are so many factors which could contribute to your described 'symptoms' of being asexual), at the end of the day, you know yourself better than we do and what you choose to call yourself is your own business.
Yes yes....... but I’m still feeling a passive aggressive “You’re just a privileged little white girl who is trying to make assumptions about a community they don’t understand.” And other stuff so maybe I’ll leave.
If you're getting that sense... something is definitely wrong because that's not at all the vibe anyone here (at least, anyone on the staff team) wants to be putting off. We've had straight people on our staff team, we have plenty among our membership, and everyone is welcome. Also, If people really told you you can't disagree... that's problematic. There is a lot of misinformation about asexuality out there, and the staff here does our best to convey accurate information so that people can have reliable, evidence-based information on which to base their decisions... but as I often say, anyone can choose any label they want to. It isn't anyone's place to tell you who you are. It's valuable to provide accurate information about what a given label means to the majority of people, but it's up to you whether you take that advice or whether you make a different choice.
Now I’m really confused because unless I’m wrong you’re the one who said on my other thread that I was labelling myself wrong
Of course you can stay here! It would be silly to leave, we’d miss you. Plus it would be really cruddy to kick someone out because they’re straight.
Of course you can stay - in fact we'd love for you to stay!! The world needs more people who are just super supportive even if you're not directly experiencing something! Definitely hang around And don't worry too much about what is or isn't correct about a label. I'm not using a label for myself right now - I'm just going with the flow based on my emotions and letting experiences happen! If you're not super sure if you're asexual or not, don't feel the need to say a definitive yes or no. Just feel it out. It's okay to focus on other aspects of your life and let things develop with time But whether you're straight or asexual or a purple-polka-dot gorilla, we'd love to have ya here
I did say you are almost certainly not asexual according to the widely used definition, and I stand behind that. It's near certain that your issue is behavioral/psychological which is easily solvable. That said... what I (or anyone else) says doesn't dictate what you choose to do. As I also said in that thread, people can call themselves "unicornsexual" if they want to. So basically, if you want to use that label, use it. All I'm saying is that it is probably not an objective, evidence-based accurate label, but if you want it, go for it.
Cleo mc....As a group of folks who have for centuries been excluded from acceptance, we would be the very first ones to say that ANYONE....ANYONE who wants to be part of empty closets is ABSOLUTELY welcome as long as they are following the rules and the intent of this website. As I see it EC is a place for those who need help to find it and as they become able...to help others! ....David
Hang in here, Cleo. What we need most are questioning, independent minds. You cleared that one already.
