Hello there, I have a question. I have been a self-identified bisexual for at least 15 years (I will be 30 soon). I have never had sex with anybody, but I am attracted to men and I am also attracted to women. Sex with a guy would not repulse me, nor would sex with a woman. The only thing is that I am shy and psychically extremely fucked-up ever since my childhood (I am a seasoned psychiatric patient - Asperger´s, OCD, anxiety... but not out of the touch with reality, just neurotic; I have also never been in a ward). But I have extremely low self-esteem and I am afraid that both men and women would laugh at me that I am strill a virgin (even though not technically; I dot have a hymen anymore, and I have a vibrator). In general, I THINK that I am primarily attracted to men and secondarily to women. BUT! I dunno if it is not just something that I may have CONVINCED myself years ago, and if I am not interested in men just out of habit. Well, I don´t know anymore. I love looking at naked men, and men themselves, but I dunno if they make me horny. Well, again, I THINK so, but I may be (due to my Asperger´s) so detached from my feelings (half of the time I don´t know what the hell I am feeling), that I might be lying to myself about my attraction to men. How can I KNOW what I am? Is there a way?
If you like looking at naked men as well as women and are even sexually attracted to men then your bisexual and not lesbian but people can be lesbian and not know I'm an example of that as well as many other people . But I think your bisexual because your sexually attracted to men and women and lesbians are only sexually attracted to women and not men My two cents
Yes, to answer your main question, people can be lesbians and not know it yet. That was me years ago for sure.
Well, I am going to be assessed for my sexual orientation (via vulvoplethysmography) in a few weeks, but I dunno what to expect. What if I only THINK that I think that I am attracted to men, and the machine will show that I am a lesbian? I mean, I would not mind, but it would limit me b/c I would have to be limited only to one gender now; that´s one thing. And then, well, what if I am told I am really a lesbian (by giving me a proof of it on pleshysmography), but I still would not FEEL like one? I FEEL I am attracted even to men, but I am not sure. I just think so, and I THINK I am attracted to seeing hem naked. But I can be wrong. The thing is that I dunno what I am anymore; since I came out peole try to convince me I am either lesbian or straight, and I just dunno and not sure about anything. This kills me. I was always sure.
Please keep on answering and helping me! The fact that I responded to my own thread does not mean that I consider this conversation to be over.
^ I was thinking the same thing. Hell, if there's a machine, I wanna use it so I can figure everything out already! LOL But yes, you most certainly can be a lesbian and don't know about it. To me it sounds you are bisexual, and perhaps your OCD is causing you to question whether you like men or not (I have OCD as well). Of course if you really think you aren't attracted to men, that is one thing. But if you do feel sexually attracted to them, then you are bisexual. But it is possible to not know if you're a lesbian. I went my entire life up until about 3 months ago believing that I was straight, and now I think I may be a lesbian but I am not sure. You're not alone
A machine that can tell you what you are? Sign me up. I did read however that scientific studies have found that even straight women can be aroused my images of women, so I'm not sure how accurate this machine is at determining sexuality. If you show me naked pics of guys I doubt I'd have much of a reaction, unless you show me a pic of my guy. Even then it probably wouldn't be his body that turns me on, it's the recognition of him personally. It sounds like you might be bi, but it's really hard to tell. I understand your frustration, have experienced it myself. (*hug*)
Yes I am, but sometimes it really sucks, particularly when it's a long distance relationship, and with a guy. It's definitely not something I would've chosen beforehand. I told myself back when the relationship started that I needed to run like hell, but I didn't. As far as the machine though, I saw a discovery tv program that showed women images of people, including faces, and when they were shown images of their partner, or of people who looked like their partner, their arousal was increased. The show didn't break it down into hetro or same sex partners. I'm curious to see the results of that strictly in same sex relationships, personal versus general attraction.
I don't think that machine would work for people with OCD. A lot of people with OCD get aroused by random stuff or not get aroused by stuff they should get aroused by. If I were to get hooked up to that machine it would probably think I'm mostly straight.
I have never heard that. Sounds like BS. It must work for everyone; it is primarily used for sex offenders.
