1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Can a broken parent raise an unbroken child?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brainwashed, Feb 23, 2020.

  1. Oliverrrrr

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2019
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    37
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I concur with the pre-grieving thing. I grieved my dad when he was forced out of the family home and left town. I grieved him again when he moved even further away. My mother when she attempted suicide and was in a nut-house for months when i was 3. He fought to have her released and for us (self and sister) not to be put in care. Any wonder why i don't feel much love for her now..... I'd already thought she was gone at age 3.
    Only now at 55 am I in therapy and sifting through the related issues, and yes, in the meantime I've been pretty Fd up, and proactively chose not to procreate. I'm really happy to now have the opportunity to unfuck myself, painful though it is.
    Sadly it's far too late for my mother, never present in herself either then or now.
     
    #21 Oliverrrrr, Mar 10, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2020
  2. TrevinMichael

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2017
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    St. Paul MN
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Sometimes when a child grows up they break the mold and do not do what was done to them.

    Some how it is possible to not get broken to the point where you break, and you somehow
    stay who you are in a way where what happened to you does not rule who you have become.

    There is much hope. There is much love. There is a future out there.

    TM
     
  3. Mysteria

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2017
    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    102
    Location:
    Oregon
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Dear God, I hope so. I have screwed up so much as a parent. I got diagnosed with bipolar as an adult and it's been very hard to control. My marriage ended after 18 years. I have made so many mistakes... but I always tried, and I always loved them with all my heart and let them know that. I apologized when I screwed up. I don't know what else I could have done. I didn't come from an ideal family myself and I don't think I had worked through as much of it as I had thought when I had children.
     
  4. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    440
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A huge plus on your part, and this appears to be at first glance the difference between you and lets say my mom, is you were / are AWARE and you APOLOGIZE. Just sitting down with your family and saying I have a "situation" (labelers (people who have to judge and pigeon hole other people) call it a problem) and talking about the situation is a huge PLUS.