So I am as out as I can be to every body... except my parents and the rest of my family (besides my sister). The real twist is that my dad knows; about 4 years ago when I was 16 he caught be in bed with my best friend at the time and I told him straight up that I am gay . He took my friend home immediately and on the way I was so tense I had no idea what would happen next. We talked openly about it the next day and he told me he loves me no matter what and that was the last we've ever brought it up. I'm 21 now and this ELEPHANT in the room has not been brought back up again!! I am positive that he told himself that I was just going through a phase and that "normality" would come back to me soon. I think he probably prayed to himself that that was the case. I am single and it is obvious that I am. I have had a secret boyfriend already (coincidentally the same guy I got caught in bed with)and it was great except our relationship really couldn't fully develop under my secrecy. I am so ready to come out and be happy already; I don't see many people making this a big deal. The major issue is that I think my dad is a tad traumatized from the whole situation. He saw a very graphic image that night he caught me in bed with a man and I am sure that whole thing was very unexpected at the time. I fear that when I come out he will be reminded of this incident and have a very strong reaction. How the hell do I just ease into the topic and get the job done????? :tears::help:
Well, I'm not sure how to broach the topic without reminding him of that - I think it will be pretty unavoidable. Aside from the usual things - telling him you need to talk about something, sitting him down and explaining things as best you can, and so on - I would emphasize that coming out and so forth is about, as you mentioned here, developing relationships in public with the support of your family and friends, and not just about getting your friends in bed with you (to put it crudely, and I don't recommend you do so with him, lol). In any case, the sooner you talk about it with him, the better. The longer you don't say anything, the longer he'll have to convince himself that it was just a phase, as you also mention. I realize it's been a while already, but that's all the more reason not to put it off - as usual, there's no time like the present.
Your dad is an adult. You might have traumatized a 6 year old sibling, but not your dad. I'd also bet that he simply assumes that you're gay, and he's waiting for you to bring it up again. He might not be looking forward to you bringing it up, and part of him might hope that his assumption is wrong, but I'm betting he's not going to be all the surprised or upset. You don't need to bring up the night that he caught you. You can simply let him know that you're gay, and that you wanted him to know, but you were still worried about his reaction. He has already told you that he'd love you no matter what... do you have any reason not to believe him? I'm betting this will be a non-event, and that you'll fee SOOOO much better afterwards. You owe it to yourself and to your boyfriend to get this out of the way!
:roflmao: thanks dude I haven't laughed that hard about this ever. That is very true. Everyday I get a little bit more secure in myself and closer to the edge...
And really, if you did traumatize him, it isn't something he's going to forget anytime soon. If anything, by waiting you're lulling him into a false sense of security. The longer the time between when it happened and when he 'flashbacks', the worse it would be (IMO). Of course, that's only if he's traumatized by it. I second what Jim said; he's probably waiting for you to approach him.
