So I'm rolling with the assumption that I'm gay. I still feel love for my wife. I want to hold her and protect her and take care of her. All those things make me feel good. I love the way she loves me and makes me laugh when I'm feeling depressed. I don't want to lose her. And I dread the idea of hurting her (even more than I've done already). But in order to be gay, I have to create some distance. It seems weird/wrong to try to cut off my loving feelings for her. But those hold me back from pushing forward into gay-land. I'm afraid of being completely alone, and I can only imagine the crushing guilt and regret I'll feel if I push her away. I don't know what to do here. Whenever I think about it I just start sobbing.