My boyfriend has been staying far away from me for almost three weeks now, taking care of work and school. He has been staying with some friends and should be back in about two weeks or so. The thing is his friends (straight couple) don't know he is gay, and it seems he has no intentions on telling them. We barely communicate since he got there, and he never talks with me in front of them. If I call him and he is with them, he doesn't answer. I fell in love with him because he has always payed me a lot of attention, and he is very sweet and kind. And he hasn't been that way since he left. He kind of went back into the closet. I have confronted him twice already and he has responded but after a couple of days he goes back to the same behaviour. I have to admit he basically came out of the closet for me. I'm his first boyfriend ever. He fears his friends might not accept him, but should I be suffering the cosequences of this? At first I was willing to support him but I'm just tired of dealing with this, and being treated differently is not fair. I'm a over reacting? Has somebody gone thru a similar experience? Sometimes I feel I'm to old (25-30 year range) for this bs. My boyfriend is over 30. Why would he get into a relationship with me if he wasn't completely open? My mistake for not asking? I feel like I want to be with someone who is always my boyfriend, not when it is most convenient for him.
You are completely correct in assuming that this is not appropriate behavoir. Your boyfriend should be much more understanding of your concerns and you should have a conversation about how important to you it is to be able to be open about your relationship and the amount of his attention you expect to receive.
I once dated a girl who was in the closet. I'm not one to pressure someone to come out, but I was willing to wait for her because I loved her. 3 years of waiting, and then the relationship ended badly when she cheated. What I am trying to say is patience has a limit. Because my ex was so afraid to come out, and had all these rules to avoid being outed, I was unsure how to behave around her which probably contributed to our relationship failing. If you are being patient and nothing is ever going to come of it--I wouldn't waste your time. Everyone's circumstance is different, but if he is ignoring you when he is with his straight friends, maybe you both should have a talk if he ever plans on coming out or if there is a future with you two.
