Okay guys, I wanna hear your best jokes. Mine is: What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s really heavy; the other’s a little lighter!!
-Knock Knock! Who's there?- -Interrupting cow. Interrupting c-- - -MOO!! (PS: Hahajha, i love your joke!)
I have two. 1. What do you call it if all the cars in the country are pink? A pink carnation. 2. One day, a man came home and was delighted to discover a robber had stolen all of his lamps. They're terribly lame puns. But I love telling people pun jokes and watching them roll their eyes while I laugh hysterically at how unfunny they are.
When eat a lot of spicy food it can ruin your taste. I visited India last summer, now I listen to Michael Bolton.
A quere who lived in Kartoom Took a lesbian up to his room They argued all night As to who had the right To do what and with which and to whom
The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Trump. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. People are spitting on the wrong side.
This is very long but funny to me A young boy started school and on his first day the teacher asked for his name and the boy told her he didn't know. The teacher told him to go home and ask his family what his name was. He went home and asked his mother what his name was and his mother said "shut up and go away" the boy then went to his father who was watching tv and asked what his name was. His father ignored him and yelled at the to "go on you whore" . The boy then asked his brother who was playing with toys what his name was. His brother said "batman na na na na na na batman". Lastly the boy asked his little sister what his name was and she replied " lollipop lollipop". The boy went to school the next day and the teacher asked " what's your name?". The boy replied "shut up and go away". The teacher asked "do you want me to send you to the principal?". The boy said "go on you whore" . The principal said to the boy "who do you think you are" the boy answered "batman na na na na na na batman". The principal said " what do you think you deserve" and the boy said "lollipop lollipop". I know another long joke but it's very rude.
First, @Butterfly8 , I'm telling that joke to everyone I know! I'm dying of laughter over here, thank you so much for the laugh! But I've got one: A college psychology professor walked into class on the first day of the semester and he addressed his students. "Good morning class, and welcome to the new semester. I would like to start today's class with a question: Do you think you are stupid? If you do, would you please stand up." After a few moments of quiet murmuring from the class, one young man slowly stood up. The professor said to him "So you really believe that you are stupid?' The young man replied, "No, sir. But I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself." And my favorite political one: A bus full of politicians was driving down a country road one day, when a deer ran in front of them. They swerved to avoid hitting it, and crashed into a tree at the back of an old farmer's field. Later that day, the farmer came out and saw what had happened, and he proceeded to bury the politicians. Several days later, the local sheriff was driving by and saw the wrecked bus, and asked the farmer what had happened. The farmer explained, and the sheriff replied "So they all were killed in the accident?" The farmer answered, "Well, ya' know some of them were sayin' they weren't, but ya' know how them politician lie."
