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Being with that ''Straight Guy'': It Sucks!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by booby, Jan 4, 2014.

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  1. booby

    booby
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    I wrote a long post but then settled for this to spare you people so thank me :slight_smile:

    I'm gay.

    He's ''straight'' but he's fooled around with guys when he was younger, and he wants to fool around with me.

    The meaning of "straight" is in the context of "he wants to end up with a girl and get married etc."

    He expresses that casually, and I get so jealous when he mentions ex-girlfriends.

    So do I get to ask him the ''where is this going'' question ? I know guys don't like to talk about the future in relationships. Or should I assume that what we have is implied as a meaningless fling ?

    Most importantly, how do I protect my heart in all of this ? I've been falling for this guy for over a year and I just love him so much it's crazy.



    I just hate being with a guy knowing that we have no future together when I want to wake up next to him in the morning.
     
    #1 booby, Jan 4, 2014
  2. UlrichOwl

    UlrichOwl
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    I have been through that same dilemma several times in my life. Unfortunately for me, each time in ended with my heart broken. My experience has been that guys who identify as being straight but who are willing to skirt the boundaries for sex tend to be fairly entrenched in their present sexual identity.

    I am sure that he is a great guy, and the thought of sex may seem appealing. However, if you have been falling for him for over a year, you should probably take a step back and think critically. It sounds as though he would be all to happy to hook up with you and then go back to his comfy straight lifestyle without a care in the world for how it could affect you.

    While it may be hard given your infatuation, you will probably be better off not surrendering to this temptation. If he is anything like the guys I have known, it will just end up with you investing yourself in a situation that he will easily walk away from.

    I may just be jaded from a series off bad experiences. If you want my advice (bitter though it may be), you should keep him as a friend and not cross that line.
     
    #2 UlrichOwl, Jan 4, 2014
  3. June Cleaver

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    I would not do it unless you're looking to get hurt! He sounds more bisexual then straight to me. Be careful and shave yourself first because straight men use their hands on our female bodies to orgasm us. If you are hairy it may turn him off. Assumeing you will do intercourse with him and not just blow him. that's my only suggestion if you decide to do something like that to ensure it's not completely disastrous. Good luck, June
     
    #3 June Cleaver, Jan 4, 2014
  4. WeirdnessMagnet

    WeirdnessMagnet
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    Personally, I wouldn't ever touch this kind of "straight" guy. Not even if all I want is to fool around. Because, nine times out of ten if the choice is between you and his "straightness" you'd get tossed under the bus.
     
    #4 WeirdnessMagnet, Jan 4, 2014
  5. resu

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    Are you really in Palestine? In that case, maybe this makes a little more sense since there is so much homophobia and real danger of physical violence. So, he might be under pressure to act straight and get married.

    That said, you are likely going to get hurt by this guy because your love for him will make you think he will love you back and give up everything. It's possible but not likely, and there will probably be a lot of drama. Maybe it's better to find other guys who are more comfortable with their sexuality.
     
    #5 resu, Jan 4, 2014
  6. booby

    booby
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    It's exactly the way you've described it.. but oh how it's easier said than done
    :bang::rolle::icon_sad:

    Super high maintenance body hair freak here :slight_smile: No worries about my femininity lol

    True. True.

    I am in Palestine but it isn't that homophobic.. you know as long as you hide everything lol
    He's not under pressure, he's just into girls and marriage like any other ''straight'' guy.. but his actions feel like he's into me.. and I feel stupid/silly if I reciprocate because I know it's all going nowhere.

    It doesn't help that he plays hard to get.

    My last question is this: What do I tell him ? Something that won't freak him out while revealing how hopeless I think the situation is, and secretly hoping for him to say just the thing to calm me down ? What could he possibly reply ? What if he tells me to ''live in the moment'' or some other Justin Bieber theme song ? Should I just be nonchalant till he asks me what's wrong ?

    Damn these pretty boys :confused:
     
    #6 booby, Jan 5, 2014
  7. blueskies

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    I agree with what everyone else has said, basically - I think you're gonna get hurt if you do this. To me, it seems like he only sees you as a fun fling while you obviously want something more from this. There doesn't appear to be any feelings involved from his part - which pretty much means he'll take everything much more lightly than you will. If I were you, I wouldn't start anything with this guy.

    If I were you then I'd tell him that I'm not interesting in starting something if it's only going to be a fling and nothing more.
     
    #7 blueskies, Jan 5, 2014
  8. confused1234

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    You're going to end up getting hurt man. If you're falling for him now, it will only get worse after having sex with him. I know this is probably really tempting, but I wouldn't do it. Sorry.
     
    #8 confused1234, Jan 5, 2014
  9. booby

    booby
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    You're both right. I think I'll throw in the ''what are we doing here love?'' question next time I have the chance.

    Will keep this thread updated.
     
    #9 booby, Jan 5, 2014
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