Being transgender is "cute"??

I'm half asleep so I didn't read the other comments, I'm sorry if I repeat what anyone else had said.

Well, people are turnips. I imagine that a lot of people don't know how to respond, so they just give a bullshit answer like "aww cute" as they don't know what else to say. I get it when I tell people about my autoimmune disease and they say "aw cool" or something. I also imagine people try to compliment you, or at least, try not to insult you.

 

The ones who are "aaawww"-ing sound like they know very little about transgender issues. I think you need to explain to them how fundamental it is that being male is what you are and, if you're up for it, say that you go through a lot with dysphoria. Even say straight out that you found their "aw" response insulting.

 

I really do think it's a matter of not knowing what to say. In a way, they want to show they accept you, and they want you to know that. But saying "aw, cute!"doesn't exactly work in this instance.

For example, one I've gotten is "that's cool!". No. No it isn't. I understand it's coming from a place that generally means well, but the body image issues and social issues that stem from me feeling wrong aren't cool at all. The years of confusion, self-injury, and self-abusive tendencies aren't cool at all. Having your sense of self disregarded because it isn't "right" in favor of social correctness regarding your physical sex traits isn't cool. I know he meant well, but I didn't know if I should punch him or accept his weird choice of supportive words. I settled for saying "thanks, but it's really not".

 

They probably have simply no experience and probably do not know other trans people.
So to them its a bit rare.

I have read this reaction from another blog.
She says people usually are very interested and have many questions, if they dare to ask.

You might just tell them your feelings and explain a bit.

It would be a pity to fend people off, they usually do not mean it offending, and they might become an ally or a friend.

Possibly telling that we just have needs and cravings like everyone else. And then go play together


And if you have a feeling of being fetishized because of being trans, you can just say no...

 

I like to assume the best about people. It's possible they meant "aww, you chose us to come out to!" As in they're touched, feeling a little the way you feel when someone remembers your birthday.

I was not there, it's entirely possible there was no way that could have been it at all.

Any time something's bothering you, and you want to say so while still being nice and polite with no hurt feelings, my stand-by is "what do you mean by that?" in a nice, friendly, even tone.

 

Kafei (and other trans responders)-
Well now I'm just a gay male so I guess my opinion only counts for half on this issue - or whatever - but I honestly believe in this particular case ya'll are over thinking and over analyzing a bit much here and reading too much into the other person reaction as some kind of complex affront to your transgender status when actually I think what's going on is far simpler.
And that is - If you wanna act as a boy and be regarded as one (and a cute one), then they are simply treating you as a boy and regarding you as one(and a cute one).

I mean I'm only speaking from my own life experience and observations as a male here, but from what I read kafei, you basically experienced what life is like for every (cute) male starting from around age 5-6 and lasting into early 20s. Or until we males grow completely out of our boyish cuteness and exhibit fully masculine characteristics. I'm not sure of the proper term or if there even is one. I guess it's basically "polite flirting"..it's done to boys 5-20 by women 20-70...it's not something we males particularly enjoy..esp. if we're shy but it's just one of those social things we have to endure. It's a masculine trait to be made the center of attention and be fawned over by females (if you're cute).

A perfect example seen on TV all the time is good olé aunt Edna pinching your cheek..."Oh look at you, aren't you a precious thing, now give auntie Edna a kiss".

And from my own life experience I pretty much wasn't safe from 5-13 in any hair salon or restaurant. My barber lady calling all the other ladies over to see how cute I looked with my new haircut, or that waitress going on about the most beautiful brown eyes she'd ever seen. Yuck! lol.

So yeah from my perspective anyways...I would look on this as a positive step for you. You display yourself as male, you indicate you're trans. Which is essentially saying you want to be treated and regarded as male. Well so when girls say Awww. Like yer a box of puppies...they're just giving you what you asked for. They're treating you like a boy and in my opinion, there's no further subversive intent.

When most guys go through this we're usually 25% flattered and 75% annoyed, but again its just part of being a (cute) guy. So we just grin and bear it ...and hope someone changes the subject soon.

So the next time this happens I think it'd be fine if you gave yourself permission to be 75% flattered and only 25% annoyed because, perhaps without realizing it, you're much further down the path of people treating you the same on the outside as you feel on the inside than you thought you were.

Good Luck
Rock On

 

In my opinion, if someone told me that I was a cute boy, that would be a compliment.

But if someone told me I was cute just because I'm trans... I wouldn't get it, and while I wouldn't be actually offended, I just feel like that's a bit off somehow. Maybe it's similar to how some people "awww" at gay couples just because they're gay, not because of their intimacy or anything like that.

Sort of like a well-meant compliment that taken too seriously or is misinterpreted, you know? Although I wouldn't really like it myself, I don't believe those who say it have any ill-intentions behind it. They just don't really know, I guess.

My two cents, anyway. People take some things differently and that's OK.

EDIT: Oh... I actually misread the OP. Sorry, I thought they said something like "it's so cute that you're trans"

 

I hear you! I missed female childhood and puberty, and would like to have the chance. I guess that's the reason I keep referring to myself as transGIRL (now) than transWOMAN. But I agree with most here, in that you shouldn't be labeled "cute" for having a painful life experience.

 

The pain of dysphoria and challenge of trying to figure out what you are is far from 'cute'. If someone said that i was cute because i was trans* i would stab them and say, 'aww thats cute' lol.