So, I realized after my amazing week of presenting as myself, I have a tremendous amount of physical dysphoria. It's usually just masked by my social dysphoria. But I understand that I completely hate my body. It isn't a temple for my soul, it isn't something valuable. It's a vessel, one that's horribly damaged and disfigured. I know, however, that an essential part of good self esteem is a positive body image. But how can you have a positive body image if you hate everything about it? How can you be happy with what you have when you can't wait till the day that you can change it? I dont know, but I know that the farther in my transition I get, I will have to confront this. I can't just keep pusing it to the side. What have you all done to begin to develop a positive body image? What have you done to overcome dysphoria?
I'll be honest, I'm struggling with the same thing. I have body issues separate from dysphoria that I have attempted to merely ignore (which is not the best thing to do). I think maybe a good step is to work on minimizing any of your own criticism of others' bodies, even in your head. It's harder to hate things about your own body when you can't find particular faults in the people you see. I don't know if this applies to you and it's also more general and less dysphoria-specific, but I hope it helps somehow. It's also good not to dwell on the things you hate (I know, easier said than done; I spend too long doing just that). There are probably features you have that aren't particularly gendered; maybe focus on the ones you like. For example, when I look in the mirror I like to think about how much I like my eyes or my nose. It's easier to be positive about your body, imo, when you spend less time focusing on what you hate and more time praising what you like. Of course, this can all be easier said than done... I sometimes hate my chest but I can't do anything about it at this point in my life (no binding etc), but something that helps me deal with it is at least presenting in a more neutral fashion that doesn't call attention to the area. Wearing what makes you feel good can really help. Of course this can be different for everyone since sometimes I have good results and sometimes I feel worse from it, and it sounds like you just finished a week of this and then made this post, but I thought I'd include this bit of advice anyways
You can't possibly hate /everything/ about your body. Has a stranger ever complimented your eyes or hair or something about you that is gender-neutral? Sure, I've been hit on by dudes and I identify as a straight trans guy, but even on my worst days, it's all in my head and I know I've got something going for me. You gotta take a break from the mirror and start looking at yourself for who you truly are and start hanging with the folks who see you as you truly are. Me, I've been told that I've come off as serious or aloof when people first meet me. But once I warm up I'm great to hang with and I'm always down to go out for fun. I've got some character flaws and I don't like my physical features all the time, but even at the times when I think, "I really hate myself, I mean it this time," I know deep down, I don't really mean it. I just don't like how society has a view for me and it ignores all aspects of myself besides my physical appearance. The fact that you've got a real profile picture must show that you don't think you're 100% nasty to look at and untouchable. The fact that I'm a trans guy with two female characters as my profile picture must show that I know that I look female and, even though I get dysphoria now and then, it doesn't matter if people see me as female or a lesbian instead of a trans guy because I know what I am and it doesn't matter if nobody else sees it or understands it. You can't go through life hating your body or yourself. This is your temple. This is your home. You should love it even when it has a leaky roof or doesn't always work the way it should. Even if I never really will feel like a -real- man, and even if I only get to date like 1% of the population, that's fine by me. I still think I'm lucky to be me, and I still think whoever I marry in the long run will be lucky to have me, just as I will feel lucky to have her. Make a goal of loving yourself just a little more each day, whether it's through eating healthier or primping up in the mirror or whatever makes you feel like you've done GOOD for the day. You'll start feeling love for yourself within the week.
Wish I had nice puffy cheeks with no chin and my nose was smaller. But I inherited my families' looks. Shit I even look like a 10 year older version of my girl cousin. Funny that my least feminine features I have are from my mom and aunt. But yes its hard sometimes. But I like what I see when I look in the mirror.
