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Being confused for a couple.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Dec 22, 2017.

  1. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

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    Do you have an opposite sex friend whom you are close to, and you are gay? Well, that's me, and we get confused for a couple a lot since people automatically assume that we are dating.

    Even my parents comment "Oooo I think they have a crush on you!", even though I came out of the closet to them ages ago, so why would they even think that I'd be happy about that, um no... I'd rather not have this conversation thank you.

    Also, he doesn't. Just because he's straight, it doesn't mean he has a crush on me, and he's well aware that I'm gay.

    He gets awkward comments about it from his family too, like "Why don't you just ask her (me) out?". He's told some of his family members that I'm gay, but doesn't like to that much because some of his family hold homophobic views, and don't approve of him hanging around gay people.

    But, the thing is, why does he have to mention the fact I'm gay as a reason why he won't date me? Why can't "I just don't like them that way" not be a good enough reason?

    It's like you have to give some sort of reason to justify why you won't date someone, like it's somehow a requirement and you have to pass a test about why you aren't dating that particular person for people to leave you alone about it.

    What's so wrong about being single anyway? I swear every time I visit my relatives it's just "How's Uni? Are you dating yet?". Calm down, I'm only 18, and quite frankly I'm sick of all these questions about my non-existent love life, and I'd rather just sit down and have a chat about something else. :unamused:
     
    #1 Canterpiece, Dec 22, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2017
  2. Ben Shanon

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    Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate there. If it's affecting you in any way, maybe you should talk to your friend or family about it?
    As for your family asking you about dating life, just be persistent in saying you don't want to talk about that stuff, that it makes you feel awkward.
    Also, if he's a close friend, you shouldn't let any of the comments people make affect your friendship with him.
     
  3. JonSomebody

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    Unfortunately, a lot of people are guilty of this behavior. I recall hanging out a lot with an opposite sex friend and automatically, people as well as family members assumed it was much more going on between us than friendship. I even had one of my siblings approached me with the absurd fact that men and women cannot be platonic friends. Furthermore, what they all did not realize is that my female friend was a lesbian. The fact of the matter is that as long as the both of us knew the reality of our relationship then at the end of the day, that is all that matters because no matter what you may say to try to convince those individuals about the status of your relationship, cynical people who thrives off assumptions do not care what you say. All that matters to them is their opinions...not yours.
     
  4. Harjus

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    I don't know if it can be helped much.

    My sister and I are best friends and people think we are a couple all the time. Strangers ask us if we have kids and so on (she has a friendly golden retriever so people talk to us a lot). Wherever we go people think that we are a couple. If we were not siblings people would not believe it. I have still gotten comments I won't repeat here. It's stupid.

    I am not sure if there is nothing else to do than to just prove them wrong.

    I remember being 18. People were asking me about dating but when I was getting too committed they told me not to be so serious about it. I don't understand. Just do what you want if it's not hurting people. People will always have opinions.