My boyfriend and I have been thinking about trying barebacking and neither of us have tried it before. Was wondering what the pros and cons are - can you get anything even if you and your partner don't have STIs?
Lots and lots and lots of cons. Even with drugs like PrEP now available the message about practicing safe sex and wearing condoms remains as powerful as ever. It takes just one of you to make a silly mistake and sleep with another person who has STI's and you are infected. Trust me, it does happen. If you haven't barebacked so far, don't begin to now. Safe sex, every time.
On one hand, it's pleasurable and better than safe in some aspects. But the cons are: 1. All it can take one moment that might change your life forever. 2. Can be messy if not prepared. Not that safe isn't too but at least there's um...a barrier. 3. While I myself have done it once or twice, I still think it best not to when you can be safe even if it's with a partner. You can trust them all you want but doesn't mean they might do something you both regret. Just stay safe, best way to think about it.
I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to that decided to bareback with their monogamous partner, after lengthy discussion and assurance that each would stay monogamous... and then, a year or sometimes just months later, discovered they were HIV+ because their partner cheated, bareback, but was reluctant to tell them, for fear of relationship breakup. And of course, the partner couldn't suddenly say "I think we should use condoms" because that's going to raise suspicion. So always using condoms does not say "I don't trust you." It says "I love you enough that I want to make sure we are both *always* safe, and if either of us accidentally or in a moment of weakness takes a risk we should not take, we will still be safe." I know many people who are HIV+. Many who almost always used condoms. Every single one of them wishes that he had listened when people had told him not to bareback. Every single one of them now tells everyone else to stay safe. It's really sad that almost 40 years after the start of this, we're still having to have this conversation.
Indeed. While again I said I have done it, I'm OK. But I think even just COVID over the past year has made me rethink things and realize when things like this can severely impact people with comorbidities and other health issues potentially more than when I'm not dealing with something like that, it just makes sense to be safe. Whenever I am able to have a relationship/date again, I'm returning myself to 100% safe regardless of how long I've been with someone. It just makes more sense at this point. I highly recommend doing the same IceGalaxy (though in your case, don't return to it, just stay in the safe realm.)
This is a good example of what seems to work in theory may not in practice. As Chip noted, strict monogamy among gay couples is not guaranteed (humans are not inherently monogamous). Even the term "barebacking" sounds more glamorous than the reality: unprotected sex. With proper lubrication and fit, a condom should not be an issue. Covid has also shown that regular testing does not prevent infections. And beyond HIV, there are other STIs to be cautious about, like drug-resistant (untreatable) gonorrhea.
