Okay So I've been feeling chronic emptiness, mixed with mood swings. To be honest I am getting quite tired of it. I have not talked to anyone about it because I do not want to burden them. Even creating this thread feels heavy. I might puke afterwards I m not kidding. I have made two threads before this but so far no response. In one of those threads I described not having or liking the appearance that I have, shifting between extreme outfits every day or every hour (overly feminine with dresses,make up or v masculine, extreme dislike of dresses etc). In the other I described mood swings. I cry almost every day without no appearant reason. It's short, sometimes it is long. It is not in front of anybody. I do not want to call attention to myself. When I am in a sad mood I tend to buy things but they help for a short period of time. I also tend to do as many things as possible/distract myself with people. Whenever I am alone I revert back, feeling completely at lost. Ashamed for every step that I've made, or every comment that I made in front of anybody. At one side wanting contact with people, but on the other side not wanting it at all (scared). I do not trust long term friends. Feeling that they are lying to me when they say they like me. I do not want to feel that way and it is not in my right to feel that way because they never showed signs of dislike towards me. I go through days mechanically. and I feel outside of myself. Like I am watching me go through life, but not actually being there. what to do?
Hi there. Sorry to hear u feel so low on yourself. I hope u feel better. I'm no counselor but have u maybe tried to contract a counselor. If is about money Then u maybe about to find some in your community that will give free services. I do work with many mental health counselors and the type of job I work is in the criminal justice field. U maybe have a depression issues. But I bet u crave for just someone to listen to u once in while and that's what this site is about. Have u tried meet up groups in the gay community or maybe u should just try to reach out to a trusted friend or family. But u need to let someone how u are feeling. I hope u feel better soon.
Considering what you describe, you're clearly feeling a lot of mental distress. You've even given the textbook definition of a dissociative episode. You need, for your own good, to reach out and seek professional help, even if it scares you. It is really likely, from what you describe here, that you are suffering from some sort of mental health issue. Only professional counselling will allow you to access the help you need.
Hey I agree with the others you need really to see a therapist. How long have you been feeling like this?
For a very long time haha, probably more than two years. I've always been kind of stressfull with school/new people/new situations, but it increased ever since I found at that I am (probably) gay. It is going off and on for periods of time. One day or week feeling okay, convincing myself I do not need to talk about what happened, only to relapse back into moments of tearfullness, headaches and feeling tired all the time. I've tried to reach out very slowly, but much of the response is that ''We all feel that way sometimes''. Maybe they are right but I get confused because it does not feel right. I don't want to be perceived as an attention seeker or as whiny. Today was kind of funny though. I made a minor mistake of sending the same message twice to some unknown person and I just panicked, ''They must think I am a fool. or not serious!''. For 20 minutes I completely freaked out. Tears and all that. and then, just after 20 minutes, it was done. Then I revert back to, let's say ''normal state'' (whatever that is) and I ignore that it happened. It just felt funny to me because it was so quickly over. So today was a good day haha, at least I laughed at my own stupid behavior/reactions. So this was a good day, and now I feel like a fool for even posting this thread. However when I think about how I've been, somethings off. I keep track in my agenda, and I've clearly writtin in there that I've cried every day and that I felt low every day for the past month. And now, such statements to me seem silly. Is that weird?
Hey there is nothing wrong with seeking help even if it is for things that everyone feels sometimes. Thing affect us all in different ways and if you have been feeling as though it isn't getting on top of you for a while then I really don't think a therapist would hurt, even if you have good days still.
Glad this was helpful! I know a lot of people have a stigma about mental health. If someone breaks a finger or gets a cut, no one bats an eye if they go to urgent care or a medical center. Mental health is no different. Unfortunately, it can have a stigma that prevents people from seeking care. Do you feel comfortable reaching out? I think it'd go a long way to exploring what you have been experiencing and seeing what a professional thinks!
