Attending a funeral with estranged family

My great aunt died yesterday. She was a very big part of my childhood, but we saw each other less and less as time passed. I'm pretty shaken up by it, and I'm very sad that I did not make more of an effort to see her more later in her life. I took today off from work to grieve and help my dad if necessary (I'm his only nearby family and sometimes needs help due to visual impairment). Apparently the 3 other people at my job who do what I do also called out, which resulted in a group e-mail reading us the riot act for all calling out and that we'll have to reapply for our jobs to continue them in the fall. So I got pseudo-not-quite fired.

I'm terrified of the funeral. My younger brother has been verbally and physically abusive toward me since he became an alcoholic as a teenager. Several stints in rehab later, he is sober. Soberish. Either he still drinks and lies about it or the temper and anger were just his personality, not the booze. In the days leading up to his wedding last fall, he let loose some of the worst verbal abuse he's ever come up with, and I decided to not attend the wedding and cut contact. We left things at him making a plan to not mourn my death or attend my funeral. I think about it almost every day, and the mention of my brother's name activates my fight, flight, or freeze response. Typically I freeze.

He will in all likelihood be coming up from out of state for the funeral. I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him, and I don't want to answer questions from the rest of the family about why I wasn't at his wedding. I'm simultaneously grieving, stressing about my job, and dreading an encounter with a person who scares the living shit out of me.

It just occurred to me that I have yet to ask for advice. I have absolutely no idea what to ask. So...uh...is Yellowjackets worth watching?

 

Thanks. It’s a public education position, so while they can’t fire a person specifically for taking bereavement, they can open the position to applicants rather than renew our contracts

 

My wife will be there with me, thank goodness. I’m considering going to the wake but not the funeral. I’m not catholic, and for a large number of reasons I don’t and wouldn’t attend catholic mass. In that case I’ll go to the wake.