are men ok with other women being lesbians but not their daughters ?

Well according to my observations/reading about things in here, usually people are okay with gay people. At least not very hostile towards them (except trans members) like in other countries. No gay bashing etc.

However when people have a gay/lesbian member in family they turn very hostile.

Take it from me, my mom had a gay friend at her work, she talks about how cruel people towards gay people and even warned my brother not making crude jokes about her friend.

Then again when I told her jokingly I might be a gay as well she told me "if I'd be a gay she would kill be with her bare hands".

I guess point is when they are strangers it is easy to show compassion. When they are family people mostly focus on shame they will bring and what would neighbors think.

This is the main reason why I don't bother with coming out in real life. She can live in an ignorant bliss... that will make up for the hell I put her through on my younger days.