If you’ve got a young face, and you dress for your age, then sometimes I don’t think there’s that much you can do about it. What I wear, etc. or context has never made any difference for me. People often assume that I’m younger than I am or that I’m the younger sibling, whereas I’m the oldest. I was at a work event last year, dressed smart and appropriately, and somebody asked me if it was my first job after university. That would have made me around 21, but I was actually 31 at the time. It can be annoying at times, but try to think positively about it. It’s better than looking older than you are!
Still, I am a little insecure about it. What if I'm just cute rather than attractive for a long time? I worry about not being taken seriously and not being considered dateable. Consider it vain, but yeah, someone told me this recently (that I look too childlike to be attractive) and I've been feeling insecure.
That was rude of them, but I can understand why it has bothered you. Attraction is a matter of individual preference, so don’t assume everyone will view you as “childlike”. With regards to being taken seriously, I think confidence can make a difference, as well as how you communicate and project yourself. Particularly in a professional context, where you should ideally be valued for what you contribute. I probably looked more “grown up” when I had shorter hair...have you considered going to a decent stylist and asking for their opinion on what would make you look more your age?
I haven't, but I like that suggestion. However, I have considered going to a stylist anyway to get my hair dyed...either that or asking a friend who knows about hair dye, so if I do go to a stylist I could ask them about this. I'm always torn whether to grow it out or cut it short. Although, I'd have to consider pricing since I know some places charge silly rates. Recently I've started parting my hair at the side to appear a little older, I rather like the side part. I know I look older when I straighten my hair...but I usually like to leave it wavy. Also, I agree that it was rude of them. Unfortunately, it was the least rude part of that particular conversation, but that's a different subject. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if it didn't remind me of the teasing I used to experience in school for looking younger. Hearing it being brought up now made me self-conscious again since it hit a buried insecurity of mine.
I'm a 24 year old who also looks 16 :/ Facial hair helps make guys look older. I've also found that dressing more formal makes me look older. If I wear nice long pants and a collared shirt I look 2-3 years older.
I have two friends who are now in their mid-30s. Both still easily pass for early-mid 20s, and up until about 4 years ago, were regularly confused for high school students. They find it mildly annoying now and then, but a lot has to do with how you carry yourself. As Destin suggested, dressing more formally helps, and facial hair helps *if* it comes in fully. If it's scraggly, then it just furthers the 15 year old look.
I quite like the suggestion of dressing up or wearing more formal clothes and having a hair style that helps to convey your age. I wonder if a bit of makeup (that is if you are wearing any and want to) could also help in allowing you to appear older. I do think that @LostInDaydreams has brought up a great point about being confident. In some respects, walking into situations confidently (while knowing where your strengths are and the things you would like to work on) can also help in communicating your age. Plus, being confident, believing in yourself, will allow you to let comments like the one you have received slide down your shoulder without giving it another thought.
It's very hard to say when we only have descriptions, but please leave it at that. There is no need for audio visual. Some of it could be achieved with clothing and hair styling choices. This is tough. Young men and women can both go through this. If you're willing to believe me, and the genetics hold up, it works much in your favor when you reach middle age. For me, filling out with time and exercise, a better haircut, different clothing, and clearing up what acne I had helped. A psychologist told me that, during adolescence, the two groups who have it the hardest are girls who mature too fast and get unwanted attention and comments and boys who are the last to go through puberty and their growth spurt.
Hair style and clothing style do contribute to how people see you. Depending on what color you dye your hair it might make you look younger than older.
I find that I go through phases of being confident and insecure. My confidence level tends to vary a lot. Sometimes I think I've mastered the whole believing in yourself thing, but then I'll start doubting everything again. If I were to graph it out, it'd probably be quite a spiky line. I was a late bloomer with a young face. This attracted plenty of negative attention. However, whenever I tried to change my appearance in any way- such as straightening my hair, it was often perceived negatively. That I was trying too hard or I was shamed for "looking promiscuous". Yet if I did nothing, I was insulted regardless. One particular memory that stands out to me was when I was in class and a bunch of guys were making degrading remarks about women. The teacher told me that I was fortunate that I wasn't on their (the boys) radar. I felt conflicted, because of course I didn't want them to talk about me in that way, but it felt invalidating that I wasn't considered. Getting positive feedback on my appearance still feels odd sometimes, because there's a part of me that expects the person who has complimented me to turn around and say "Haha, psych!" I know I'm being paranoid when I worry about that though. Apparently many of my friends feel the same way, since they have experienced similar situations. I never used to care about my clothes, mainly because I was depressed and I felt disconnected from my life and my body. So I made my choices based on what my family liked, I couldn't bring myself to care. As long as it was comfy, it would do. I also disliked the assumption that I could either be a dressed-down intelligent person, or a dressed-up attractive yet ditsy individual. Yet, I felt confined to be one or the other. Over time I've realised that I don't have to conform to a side. That it's all just nonsense. Sometimes I feel stunted and as though I can't move on even though I want to. It's scary because it's all I know, yet all I know isn't comfortable anymore. Frankly it never was, but it seemed like the only valid option at the time. Hope that makes sense.
