Hey interwebs, I'm 23 currently going though a divorce, I have a three year old son and I happen to be going though a identity crisis of sorts. I've always felt different to other girls growing up, I always went swimming in boys bathers, hung out with the boys all that jazz, I thought i was just a tomboy, but that didnt feel right. Some nights I would go to bed and pray to god that when I woke up I would be put right, I would be a boy and everyone would know it. as puberty started to hit i began to get picked on for looking like a man/lesbian/ugly (you know all the mean things that kids say) and I had this moment of just like ok, its time to be a girl now, there is no magic potion or amount of wishes on stars was going to change that. So I started to wear the girls uniforms, wear the make up, everything that I thought was quintessentially female. It took a while ( and I would always end up slipping back into my old style) but I eventually stopped thinking about it, this was my life now and I had to make do. I met a boy and I thought we were in love (he turned out to be a misogynistic abusive arse but that's a story for another time) and when a boy and a girl fall in love your supposed to have a baby thinks little old me I was at uni in the city (I live in a small town) and I started to meet these people just like me! and they were becoming there true authentic selves, I was jealous or well maybe envious is a better choice of words, I longed for facial hair, a deeper voice , a flat chest and a more masculine figure. so I started binding and dressing more masculine on my way to uni. I would getting the biggest rush when some stranger called me him I just think is it too late for me? am I even trangendered? would I be doing the right thing for my child? how would he even understand it/ would it make him uncomfortable? people in this town already try and give me shit for cutting my hair how are people going to treat us. I love my son more than life itself and I would never want to put him in a position that puts him in harm I'm just a mess right now so any thoughts/advice would be much appreciated cheers!! Miller(!)
-First of all, it's never too late, look at Caitlyn Jenner, she's what? 60? To me, you do sound like you could be transgender, but only you can figure that out. -I think if you explain it in a style that kids will understand, I don't think they'll have too much trouble understanding. -If you do live in a conservative town that puts either yourself or loved ones in any kind of danger, I'd honestly wait. Good luck. (*hug*)
It's never too late. Have you heard of Caitlyn Jenner? She came out at trans when she was 64! nobody but you can say if you are transgender or not. I don't know how old your child is, but kids learn to be judgemental from their parents/society. If your son has been raised in an open-minded enviroment, I can tell you for sure that he won't really care. Maybe he'll be a little confused though, so try to explain it to him with simple words and concepts. And society is always going to give you shit, you just can't change that. Your happiness is more important than whatever people say about you, it's none of their business. Good luck!
Kids can surprise you with how understanding they can be, but also with how much they pick up from an early age. You are also never to young, I was 22 when I figures it out and like you I told myself I had to be a female because nothing could change it. And there are several people in the world that didn't figure it out till they were 30, 40, 50+ years old. Maybe its selfish of me to say that the way to making your son happy is to make yourself happy. Trying to suppress who you are can lead to depression, and depression affects everyone around us. Test the waters, ask people around you how they feel about trans issues, and from their responses figure out who your supporters are.
