I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. We are in a long distance relationship but I'm planning to move to her city because of my job in the fall. Last September she found a new job that she loves and I'm so happy for her. The problem is that since then her work days are really long and she's never free until late in the afternoon. Most days I don't even get a single text from her during the day and we barely talk. I've got a pretty demanding job too but I've always managed to find time for her, even if it was to just send a text to let her know what was going on or how I was. Any advice on what should I do? I understand that she has to work but I also feel like we are distancing ourselves and I don't want to sound clingy or whiny either.
Talk to her about how you feel and look over your schedules together. Try to schedule at least twice a week some “together time” - a time when you’re both free and that is dedicated to being together. When you’re dealing with demanding schedules, there’s no other option other than to set up your time together as an item within the larger schedule. That’s something a lot of couples do from what I hear around me - it sounds like a good system to make sure that you do see each other and keep your relationship and intimacy going. As for texting during work - talk to her about that as well, but keep in mind that there are jobs where people hardly have time to breathe, never mind reply to texts. Back when I was a teenager, I volunteered a few times at a community clinic (me and my group helped clean the place). The nurses were so busy, they didn’t have time for a coffee break - it wasn’t that they weren’t allowed, it’s that they just wouldn’t have gotten everything done if they’d gone on their break. Constant running around, people constantly approaching them and asking for stuff, non stop work. We all felt sorry for them. Some workplaces are like that. Try not to take the texting issue personally - it’s most likely not about you at all. Maybe her workplace is as busy as that clinic and there’s no time. Maybe people around her wouldn’t take it well if she took out her phone at work. Talk to her about it, and see if you can find some solutions, maybe a quick call to say hi during her break or a text during less stressful hours. But for that, you have to sit down and talk. Take care.
Hey I totally agree that you have to talk to her about how you are feeling. If you are going to move to be with her you want to make sure that she is definitely still just as committed and I'm not saying that she isnt but I think you just need to make sure she knows how you are feeling so that you can both work through it and find a way where it works for both of you.
