Any advice for dealing with homophobic, transphobic parents?

How old are you?

If you are not in safe place you need to get to one. If you are being abused contact child services.

 

First of all, dont listen to your friends they are kids, dont rely on a child to protect you. If you need help dont runaway, go to the authorities. Are your parents going to hurt you?

 

Nothing is more important than your safety and security, so if coming out will put you at risk, don't do it - yet. I'm sure that's not the advice you want to hear because it means staying closeted and that will cause you some pain, but coming out now could set off a bomb in your life and push you into a place that is much darker and uglier than the closet.

If you intend to leave home, you need to know where to go and I'm afraid you can't rely on people of your own age, even if they are friends. As a 15 year old you need to be cared for and supported by a responsible adult.

My advice would be to focus on school and get the best grades possible so you can leave home and live independently as soon as possible and then come out to your parents. Doing it this way may not feel like progress, but it really is a major stepping stone on your coming out journey and it's important to understand that. Make it a definite plan towards coming out. Remember, coming out isn't a sprint or a moment that we jump into without preparation (not if we want it to go well anyway).

If you are at risk at home you should contact the authorities. What exactly did you mean when you said your parents slapped you? Did you mean a violent slap or was it more of a spank when you were younger.

 

I dealt with emotional (and physical) abuse from my father (and family) throughout my childhood all the way until I moved out of their home (the emotional abuse continued past that, as I did not break off all ties, but the physical abuse did not). I didn't have a choice in whether or not to come out, as it was very obvious from a very young age that I was not straight. My situation was extreme and I legally emancipated from my parents at the age of 16.

That said, you need to go to the authorities. EVEN if they do nothing but take a report. That report could be useful to you later if you need to break away from them before you have reached the age of majority (usually 18, depending on where you live).

@PatrickUK's advice is excellent.

Do not depend on people your own age to help you run away or protect you. They have absolutely no legal standing, and thus as much as they may want to protect you, they can't... and other than helping you report issues to the authorities, neither can their parents.

 

@Twist @PatrickUK and I have all said the same thing, while your friends love you and you love them Im sure, they really cannot protect you and running away is not the answer, if you are really in danger contact the police, they will help you and get you into contact with organizations that can and will protect you legally.

If your parents aren't abusing you, then you will just have to tough it out. But first do me a favor and try to see this from their point of view. Parents want what is best for their child and they want you to be successful. With the way LGBT people are treated, your parents may fear for your safety, and in their own misguided way, they are actually attempting to protect you from harm.

Their generation views LGBT people as either deviants and perverts or as victims of vicious assaults. Back in their day, gay bashing was much more accepted than it is now and they grew up knowing that homosexual or trans people would be brutally punished when discovered. Murder, genital mutilation, and corrective rape were common fates of LGBT folks, and that scares your mom and dad. They may see these friends as deviants trying to take sexual advantage of their child. You need to try to understand them, just as much as they need to try and understand you. I bet they really do love you and dont want you do get hurt. They may be wrong, but also be right at least in their hearts, because they fear for your safety.