Everyone seems to vote that you kiss him. I agree. He's acknowledged going "on a date" with you. He's comfortable with you touching him. One problem is that all of these situations you described are bathed in alcohol or weed. Does he exhibit any of these cuddly behaviors when not on these substances? You know what they say, "the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy is a six pack." I've personally seen proof of that more times than I care to admit. So I'd either just take everyone's advice, and touch him "there" or kiss him the next time you're both bombed and cuddling, or skip the booze one day and tell him, straight up (pun probably intended), that you are physically attracted to him and would like to go farther. Is there any indication he has given you that he would not receive this message calmly? If he doesn't then you have just another straight guy in denial. But for goodness sake, try cuddling him when you're sober.
He cuddles me the morning after. Like one or both of us will leave bed for whatever reason, and we'll always continue cuddling. I think that counts. Outside of that, there's no cuddling, but who just cuddles in the middle of the day? He still hovers around me and touches me more than necessary sober; like making sure our elbows are touching during a car ride, or whatever. He also hugged me and said "you know I love you right" while sober. At this point, my emotional attraction to him is dying pretty quick. I hate touching/cuddling guys that I'm not emotionally connected to, so even that's dead. Me being physically attracted to him isn't that crazy. There's tons of guys on those apps that are just as attractive, and actually ready to do shit. If him and I ever hook up, it will be a drunk hook up is what I'm saying. He probably would receive the message calmly.
Ouch.. To be honest, his state would be challenging to overcome and there are so many people who are better for you than him...
Given all you have said about him, it sounds to me and others like he is quite attached to you. So a drunken hook-up, if it's all it would ever be, sounds pretty cruel. You could really hurt him, and if he's not-out, a bit shy etc, could be quite damaging. I think you need to speak to him. "I like you, and if you were ever up for it, I'd go for a hook-up, but I'm not interested in anything more serious..." Of course he might still go for it with the hope you'd change your mind. But why the change of mind? It seemed like you were attached to this guy, and found him attractive, but now you don't seem to want anything. You two have been in a quasi-romantic relationship for months. If the sex is a big deal, and your concern here is that you're going to have to softly-softly a virgin for months then talk to him. See if you can establish if he is interested, which he seems to be, then talk about sex. You may be surprised. I'm going to speculate here, but this is apparently the first naturally developing romantic relationship you've been involved in and suddenly you seem to be pulling away. Does it scare you? Are you worried you're going to be out of your depth if you add sex and emotional connection? Vulnerable? In short, are you running scared? Be fair to yourself and be fair to him.
I guess I did understand correctly then, that you did have an emotional attraction to him, although that may be decreasing because he has been confusing you. And frustrating you, because as you pointed out, others are "actually ready to do shit." I think your friend does fit the classic case of being a bit in denial, right out in the open. His behavior sends clear messages, that his brain may not want to acknowledge. I think you ought to have a real and clear talk with him, because I think it would help both of you come to a better closure on this.
I dunno how damaged he would be, considering that he hasn't tried contacting me since I last texted him (past Wednesday) about weekend stuff. He did post that "I suck at keeping in touch, but I like you" thing on Saturday. But don't know who that's directed at, or what "I like you" is supposed to mean. My emotional attraction is dying because of the cat-and-mouse game that I (we?) have to play. The physical attraction is still there, yeah. I'm not into gay hookup culture, and refuse to put out unless I feel an emotional connection. I am completely okay with the naturally developing romantic relationship. But looking at his actions and (apparent) lack of memory when he's not around me... I feel like I'm the only one that feels something is going on here. You're right, I probably should sit him down and talk to him. I'll try and keep my negative feelings at bay and not shove my assumptions down his throat. My emotional attraction isn't dying because of lack of sex. Sex isn't important to me. The emotional attraction I thought we shared, in light of what I've thought about, might just be one-sided (from me). At this point, I feel like he's only someone I'm physically attracted to (which makes me feel cheap). Physical attraction isn't important, that's why I made the comment about hookup apps. There's a ton of guys that are physically attractive, and quite a few are "ready to do stuff," but that means nothing to me. Not into hookups. I can get myself off. I'm looking for someone to be a part of my life. Yes, after stewing for a bit I've decided that just ignoring him is not the best course of action. For starters, it'd be a definite waste of nearly half a year to just ignore him. Maybe more importantly, his yo-yo-ing attitude could be a sign of him not being comfortable.
I should add that he might actually remember what happens between us. After all, when I met some of his friends they all basically said "we've heard about you." Also, I really appreciate everybody's support!
Sorry I misunderstood your earlier post. Yeah you've 'invested' months in this guy, and as you've said it would be a waste of time (and potential) if just let this friendship drop without saying anything. It doesn't seem like you've got anything to lose at this point. It's an interesting point to be at, and puts you into a position of strength. Of course, he may not have reached the same point. He might still be enjoying the 'almost-moments'. I'd be really interested to hear his p.o.v. I get the feeling he is not as clueless and forgetful as you are convincing yourself. I guess options are that he's: A. Straight and very relaxed about bromance. B. Too drugged up to know what he's doing, or remember it. C. Not-straight but repressed and the drugs are revealing his true self, but he may not be prepared to admit it. D. Not-straight, fancies you, but very shy and using the drugs to allow him to flirt with plausible deniability. E. Not-straight and fancies you and really can't understand why you haven't made a move (his weird postings seem to indicate this is an option). Let's hope for D or E, and do report back! Good luck.
