I survived the holidays!! My husband and I spent our first Christmas apart sharing the kids since I came out. Over the holidays he told his family I am gay and we told the kids we are splitting up. It all went as best as could be expected. The biggest eye opener for me was that it was the most relaxed Christmas Eve/morning I have ever had because he was not there. He was always so anxious about the holidays and was just kind of on edge all the time which I always felt like I had to manage. The kids didn't even act like they noticed he was gone and never spoke about him once. They were happy and we had our same tradition of spending it with my family. He picked them up in the afternoon and they went with him to his family for dinner which is also tradition. When I told the kids we were not going to be married anymore, they both reacted very calmly and almost relieved. People always say kids know and mine sure did, I am sure they are happy to know they don't have to be around our fighting and tension anymore (tension that has existed for years). There is still a long journey ahead to work through all the details of our separation and eventual divorce but we are moving forward.
congrats on making the move to happiness for both you and your kids. the first is the hardest, it was for me anyway. and yes kids know, and internalize a lot of it. my son did but i've watched in amazement as he blossomed from a severely introverted young teen to an gregarious out going young man (he was 14 at the split and 19 now) in University with a tonne of friends and is held in high regard by his instructors. he was in college last year and many teachers and staff would come to me, people i knew, telling me what a stellar young man he is. your kids may do the same when it really sinks in that the pressure is off from the inhouse tensions that they were immersed in. Happy New Year to you and your kids
@DesireEyes I'm so happy for you! Sounds like things went so smoothly, that's fantastic. I'm sure it's such a relief to know that things really can get better as you go through this process. Hooray for your kids! I'm glad they took the news well. I would suggest frequent heart-to-hearts with them to keep tabs on their emotional state during the transition. Do you plan to come out to your kids? I can't remember their ages. Just curious what your thoughts/plans were in this regard... Congrats! Have a good new year!
Glad to hear that it all went well and you're starting to move forwards. Yes, I knew it was coming when my parent divorced. I told my mum that I wasn't surprised at the time. I'm pleased they took it well. Best wishes with your next steps. Keep us updated. Happy New Year!
Thank you for the support. No plans to come out to my kids quite yet. They are 7 and 9. I want them to settle into us being separated for awhile and I don't plan on being "out" publically for the year so not until that happens or I am ready to have an out-of-the-closet relationship.
