I’m quite new to this sort of thing - the forums and community - and I’m not really sure on what to say so I guess I’ll sum up my feelings and questions regarding my sexuality. So as a child I never really thought about being with girls and never thought about me being lesbian. I just kind of went by. I never have really had a proper crush on a boy, more of a feeling of enjoyment when flirting. However I simply cannot imagine myself in a domestic relationship with a man. In the past year I’ve been exposed to the lgbt community and I became really interested in it and I experienced a want to be in it as I felt I almost wanted to belong to it. I was also into kpop at the time and there are many gay/lesbian ships and fanfictions. I always would read the lgbt fan fictions and I would feel uncomfortable reading the straight ones. I then became worried that I was heterophobic (is that even a word) and then began to question my own sexuality. But then of course came the doubts and I thought that wether I preferred lgbt films over straight films was insignificant and not at all indicative of my sexuality. Since then I began noticing that I had never had an interest in boys romantically and not really sexually either. I also got my first crush and it was on a girl. It wasn’t really sexual but I was very young so I wasn’t that ‘active’. I really liked her romantically and it was the typical crush with jealousy and all that. It was then I knew I wasn’t 100% straight. I don’t think I am at all. However this is the messy part as I have so many doubts and then again, my feelings are probably quite common. I prefer watching lesbian themed things and get very happy and excited at the mention of the lgbt community. I then get worried that I am fetishisizing(?) the lbgt community and that I just ‘want’ to be lesbian so I am tricking myself into thinking that I am. Because I find males nice to look at and that more are physically attractive to me than females but I just can’t be attracted to them sexually or romantically. I love the idea of living with a woman and being in a romantic relationship with them. But once again, not really sexually. I am definitely not asexual, I think it’s just because I am still quite young so I don’t really have ‘those’ desires. I also enjoy flirting with men - I get a kick out of it- but nothing further. I have never felt that with a woman. I also feel very comfortable and happy with the idea of being lesbian and almost want to be but then that goes back to the worry of if I’m convincing myself I’m lesbian when I am not? Overall my worry is that I find males nicer to look at but I would love to feel the same with a woman and grow old with a woman but I don’t like the sound of that as it seems I am trying to be lesbian when I may not be? Is there any advice anyone has with helping me figure out what I identify as? This post is so long I’m sorry but it’s kind of a big blurted rant.