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Am I racist to do so?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by cuteboyever, Apr 28, 2018.

  1. cuteboyever

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    Hi Guys,

    I have a question to ask you all.

    I'm an Asian (Desi) by ethnicity.

    I always like to date Caucasian guys and prefer to have relationship with them.

    Am I an racist to do so?
     
  2. Secrets5

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    Even if it would be considered racist you are allowed to be as discriminatory as you want when it comes to relationships. However, note the more discriminations you make the harder it will be to find someone who matches it.
     
  3. Mihael

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    It's a liking
     
  4. mychemromance99

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    Nope, it does not make you a racist, at least if you limit that discrimination to romantic partners and not in a broader sense.
     
  5. Spot

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    Nope, you’re allowed to have your own preferences when it comes to dating. There’s no put in trying to date someone you’re not attracted to :shrug:
     
  6. BiBarefeet

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    Agreed. Your preference regarding your physical attraction to a certain type of guy is your choice. You can never be criticised for having a preference. Some guys like bald headed guys. Some guys like guys with long hair...black guys...white guys...Asian guys...Middle Eastern guys...macho guys...fem guys...bearded guys...clean shaven guys...hairy guys...smooth guys...tall guys...short guys...big guys...slim guys...muscular guys etc.
    These are all preferences. Ethnicity for me is just another preference that your eyes tell you are attractive to you. So long as such choices are not made on the grounds of other, potentially racist grounds based on a perceived stereotype, then it's fine.
    I like slim muscular/fit smooth bodied and faced tall European guys...but I also like small cute slim Asian guys. It's just my preference. Nothing to get hung up about and that does not mean I would reject another ethnicity if the guy was cute and had a great personality. The same goes for women with me. I prefer athletic long haired blondes, and yet sultry Chinese and Japanese girls I find sexy, as I do for Amazonian/Latin girls, and sexy brunettes.
     
  7. gravechild

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    Perhaps internalized racism...
     
  8. Niagara

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    Nope, it's not racist. Just a preference like hair color or height.
     
  9. eMei

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    These preferences often represent how historical white supremacy is still so in effect today. It's not 'racist' per say for you to prefer Caucasian men, but it symbolises how modern beauty standards have been shaped by the past.
     
    #9 eMei, Apr 28, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2018
  10. Chip

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    I think eMei is closest to my thoughts. The Bobo doll study shows that black children *still* prefer white dolls over black dolls, as they did two generations ago. One is certainly entitled to one's own "likes" and preferences, but it's hard to argue that a preference for caucasian people isn't at some level rooted in unconscious bias.

    I think what you do with that information is something else entirely. If you want to explore it, you might learn more about yourself and other unconscious biases you may have. At the same time, there are many, many people who share those biases, so you're hardly alone.
     
  11. KnucklesNation

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    This could be debated into the ground, is it preference or prejudice? Personally, I think it leans towards the latter.
     
  12. Tritri

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    The only situation where I would call someone racist for having a racial preference is if they date someone thinking they're white, find out later that they're really Asian (or whatever), and break up with them after that.
    People of different races look different. It's fine to be attracted to certain skin tones more than others.
     
  13. mturpiz

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    I agree that you're absolutely entitled to like what you like. No need for guilt! But a few things to keep in mind.

    --What you like can change over time

    --What you like doesn't give you an excuse to be rude to other people. Likeing (for example) thin, traditionally masudline guys is fine, but it doesn't justify the dismissive rudenes of using a term like "no fats / no fems" in a dating profile. Or to make a face like you're sucking a lemon if somebody outside your type expresses interest in you.

    --Don't be afraid to push your boundaries a little bit, and don't close yourself off from the possibility of finding someone attractive outisde of your "type". You might fall head ove heels for somebody quite unexpected, but you'll never know if you put up fences.
     
  14. BiBarefeet

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    If it the case that I prefer blondes to brunettes then I must be prejudiced against brunettes. By the same extension, if I prefer Japanese or Chinese girls to Caucasian girls, then I must be prejudiced against Caucasian girls, i.e. my own race. This cannot be the case.

    However I do accept that where one race is wholly excluded then there is some form of discrimination or internalised racism underpinning it. However, even though I may not have a preference for African or Caribbean girls, the Beyonce, Rihanna, Halle Berry, Janet Jackson, Ashleigh Murray, Noemie Lenoir, Meagan Good, Zoe Saldana look I find extremely attractive. So that cannot be a race thing for me.
     
  15. Andrew99

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    Nope, it's just a preference.
     
  16. Chip

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    Nobody likes talking about it, thinking about it, or admitting that it could be part of what motivates their behavior, but the study of implicit racism and unconscious bias supports your position.
     
    #16 Chip, Apr 29, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2018
  17. MzMrAlexa

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    Racist is a term that is way over-used these days and also one that the media has distorted for the sake of dividing people and getting them to watch more of drama that they're pushing as news.

    Yes, racism still exists. And people of any race can be racist, but from all my travels what I have seen is that by and large most people are not racist and even living in the rural South which if you believe the media is hugely racist I've not seen that to be the case. Are there groups of folks that don't like outsiders? Yes, and that's true no matter where you go. But way too often people are using the term "racist" to describe anyone who doesn't subscribe to their values or way of life, and the media supports that because it sells.

    So to answer your question, no you're not a racist. Just a matter of preference. Now if you went out of your way to single out or do harm to or to interfere with someone you don't know from having the same right to the pursuit of happiness that you have based not of their personal behavior but on their race then yes... You would be racist or engaging in racist activities.
     
  18. Chip

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    It seems pretty clear that you've never actually studied racism and the many, many forms it can take. Remnants of racist policy still exist in many of our state and federal institutions, and unfortunately, newly racist policies and values are being enacted and promoted on a daily basis in our current political climate.

    This is simply not true, at least if you look at any of the major studies on the topic. Unfortunately, most of us, both those with privilege and those without, carry remnants of racism, which may be explicit, implicit, conscious, unconscious, or (often) a combination.

    No, actually the media supports it because the research supports it.

    So someone who prefers not to have a black doctor, or a gay lawyer, or an asian teacher is "just a matter of preference"? I don't think so.

    Again, it just isn't this simple.

    Please educate yourself on this complex and nuanced topic before presenting as fact information that is pretty much without factual basis. If you want to state it as opinion... well, that's one thing. But presenting it as fact isn't OK.
     
  19. Linning

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    Couldn't have said it better than Chip.


    Are you caucasian by any chance? I ask because ironically it's often caucasians who tend to claim that racism is a thing of the past because they haven't met anyone racist, totally forgetting that they aren't the target of racism and therefore would be totally oblivious to it and the many forms it can take. Regardless of your ethnical background, claiming that racism is overrated and a thing of the past because one hasn't experienced it is naive at best and very dangerous at worst.
    The fact that you claim any people of any race can be racist proves that you genuinely don't have any clue what racism actually is and that you are mixing being prejudiced with being racist. Anyone, independently of their skin color can be prejudiced but racism= prejudice+power, minorities don't hold any power or not enough to negatively affect the life of the majority therefore 'reverse racism' can't be a thing.
    Someone who is caucausian can have a thousand problem just like any person of color but unlike someone of color their skin color will never be an additional problem, it won't close them doors, it won't make them more suspicious and more likely to be patted down and controlled more often and charged with bigger sentences if a crime (or even something small) is committed. Now can a white person find himself be insulted by someone based on his skin color? Absolutely, but do people of color who use that type of hateful speech against caucasians hold enough power to negatively impact the life of said caucasian person on a large scale like is the case for the opposite?Absolutely not.


    Insinuating that people use the "black card" and overreact when you so visibly have no clue what racism is and entails is extremely harmful.
    Looking at your own privileges and the fact that you can easily travel without much hassle anywhere in the world when most minorites cannot do it and are restricted by endless bureaucracy due to being gauge "a risk " when most of their problem is the results of hundred of years of colonialism should give you an idea that discrimination still is a very current theme that is far from being abolished.
     
  20. Linning

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    OP,
    I personally don't think it's racism. At the end of the day if caucasians are the people you are attracted to, it is what it is,
    I think it would be more questionable if you were to fall for someone who wasn't caucasian but would refuse to date them due to them not being caucasian even though you find yourself attracted to them.
    Attraction is important in a relationship so it would be silly to date someone you aren't attracted to, under the sole basis of being inclusive.
    Date whoever you feel like dating, at the end of the day you are the only one impacted by it as it obviously reduces an already small dating pool but if it doesn't bother you then definitely carry on, we all have our preferences! :slight_smile: