Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

So this is a weird sort of question I’m seeking advice on.
I’ve always enjoyed my birthdays, my folks and I would celebrate together every year. But I’ve never really been with a boyfriend for my bday (well I think one time in university and we just went to dinner if I recall).

My partner and I have been together for almost two years (friends for a year prior to that). We weren’t able to celebrate last year as I was on vacation with my folks and year prior we were just friends and I didn't want to ask for anything.

This year though today he told me he might be going to visit family on my bday weekend (in my opinion it is important, it's not just to visit family, there's a specific reason not just any old family visit)

He said we’d celebrate either before or after he goes/gets back or while we're on a trip a few weeks prior. I'm on the fence though how I feel. It's not like we won’t celebrate, we will and he's made that clear. But I'm just feeling like, he knows it's my bday weekend and I'm just unsure why it has to be that weekend. But I'm just unsure if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill here cause it's not like he forgot, it's not like we had even planned anything yet, he let me know his plans well ahead of time, he promised we'll still celebrate. Am I just putting too much weight on one date?

 

Haha. It’s more just cause my bday falls on a weekend hence “bday weekend” lol.

 

Haha true. But thing is, and I think this is why I'm perhaps making even a big deal out of it is that...my folks are actually also going to be away when it's my birthday. So pretty much, my folks will be gone and now my partner will be gone. So...pretty much alone on my bday (first time since the pandemic began though I still briefly saw my folks). Thing is, I know my bf is a laid back person and things like bdays aren't as big a deal to him (while I took him out for his, when he held a get together the day of and only like four showed up, he wasn't really bothered. Totally understand why he wants to go (meeting a newborn family member for the first time), I guess I'm just curious why that particular weekend.

Also, I recognize that it's one birthday. If him and I are together for the long run (And I mean we've talked about moving in together as well as marriage), it's one birthday out of who knows how many. But I'm still just curious.

 

I just feel like I should ask...but same time I won't see him in person for two more weeks. It's almost a mixed bag, cause I don't think it's something to ask over the phone/by text, but also I'm kind of like "why" and want to know.

 

Hi Mirko, thanks as always for your thoughts on this.
One of my friends suggested maybe just asking why that weekend in particular, cause I'll be honest that's the question that's driving me nuts. I'm good about celebrating beforehand, I'm not big on the day of (I mean my folks celebrated my bday yesterday since as mentioned they can't be with me on the day). BUT again I'm just curious why that weekend given there are technically two weekends prior to my bday that could also work? If that makes sense? It's less about celebrating on the day and more just why choose THAT weekend. Like if it's when his sister invited him, could totally understand that, or if say that was best price for flights, could also understand that. Again I'm just curious why go that weekend but also don't want to say come off accusatory or anything naturally.

 

Yes. I plan to send him with just like six month clothing. But yes I’ve never been great at being forward. We talk freely, but I’m just horrible at spelling things out and he’s very laid back about things so I guarantee he probably figured it wouldn’t be a big deal and why he suggested just celebrating together beforehand.

 

Just wanted to let you know that this did indeed solve itself. Thanks again for your thoughts on this

 

Perhaps I did. I realized I was being rather foolish making such a big deal out of something so small. It'd be different perhaps had he missed it yet had other times he could've gone but as this was the only time it made sense. And I still made sure I had a good birthday by treating myself. Plus while he had to leave that weekend, he actually also had UberEats deliver croissants from my fave croissant place out of the blue. Had no idea he had been planning to do so until they arrived haha. So yeah, it's just about not overthinking (as I tend to do lol).

 

Yeah and I wouldn't be surprised if part of my feelings honestly were cause of my parents being gone? Cause to be honest, if they were IN the country, I'd likely have spent my birthday with them and just celebrated it with my partner earlier or when I got back from their city. I think the main reason tbh I was like :S was because I technically would be on my own. It was just unfortunate timing, cause also as I mentioned my partner had some family things happening, and so that as I mentioned ended up only time he could find to finally go see her and his nephew. Family's important to me, so I totally understood, I think I was just having a difficult time because of the fact parents were gone and then here's my partner saying he'll be gone.

I'll admit I feel like I was being a tad immature, I get it can be understandable to want to celebrate and birthdays can be important to people, but looking back I do feel I was being a tad silly. Thanks all for weighing in.