Hi, thanks for clicking. I am coming to the conclusion that I might be a lesbian, I am very much happy with only dating/ sex with girls. I feel nothing for guys on a everyday level and the thought of dating one makes me very unhappy. When I was a kid I had a intense crush on a boy (who was very feminine looking, pretty) and always thought I was straight. (The girls at my school weren’t very nice to me, so no crushes) but when I hit my teens I only wanted a girlfriend. But I am a spiritual person (Not religious) and feel that I am a lesbian, happy with only being with women but I could fall in love with someone regardless of gender if the feelings were hugely intense. I’m still young and figuring things out but I really don’t feel bisexual, do I have to call myself bisexual if I happen to fall for one guy out of millions of men I would not want? while with girls it’s a totally different story. Most people would say that I’d have to label myself bisexual, even if my attraction is so thin to guys…but it just doesn’t feel right. No hate, I’d love to be bi <3 but I know that I’m not. Can I still be a lesbian? has anyone else felt the same? Thanks fo reading, would love to hear your thoughts.
I say go with what feels right for you. If you don't feel like being bi describes you or it just don't feel right, then it's not. I struggled a lot with figuring out my own sexuality, but in the end decided to go for what described me best and what felt right and am perfectly happy with it.
I think labels are there more for us to explain to others. So I think you can chose the one that feels right for you. I don’t see why you can’t label yourself a lesbian.
I think you should go with what makes you feel the most comfortable. If that's saying that you're a lesbian, then do that. You don't have to use the bisexual label just because there's a possible hypothetical future where you fall in love with a man, especially if you're not particularly interested in men.
Very few things in life are 100% and there is no reason why our sexuality must be one of the things that is a dead cert. Most people recognise a predominance in their attraction, be it to the same sex or opposite sex and it's on that basis they label themselves gay, lesbian - or straight. It doesn't mean they hold a sparkly gold star that will banish even the slightest interest in the opposite sex (or same sex, in the case of straight people). People who are bisexual tend to have a much stronger understanding or awareness of their attraction towards both sexes, even if they lean very clearly or heavily in one direction, but that's not what you seem to be saying in your post. In your case, it sounds like feelings for the opposite sex are almost imperceptible, so if lesbian feels right for you, it probably is.
Hello, @Marss! Whoever told you that you have to label yourself bisexual is far from being an authority on the subject (full disclosure, there are no authorities on the subject). Even if "bisexual" is technically true in that you have the capacity to be attracted to both sexes, it isn't obligatory to label yourself as such. If you have no interest in having a romantic relationship with a man, then of course you can label yourself however you see fit (or opt out of using a label at all). Conversely, if down the road you do find yourself with a man and you think to yourself, "lesbian doesn't feel right under these circumstances", you're welcome to re-examine what feels right to you. I know it's hard not to let other people get into your head, but don't let anyone guilt you into using a label that doesn't feel right. You've done nothing wrong in acknowledging the truth of your own circumstances, and at the end of the day, we only have the one life (so far as we know). What you do with it is up to you, and that includes how you describe yourself.
Hi, I relate to this so much! I feel like I'm lesbian as I have no interest in guys at the moment, but part of me feels like maybe I could be with a guy if we really clicked. I agree with everyone else though - choose the label that you feel most comfortable in, not because of what others tell you. You could also go with something more broad like queer, or even no label. I 100% get how you feel though - I tried thinking of myself as bi for a while but it just didn't feel right. You can always change your label if you find it doesn't work after a while. Good luck!
Pick whatever feels right for you but also be aware that calling yourself a lesbian but then also sleeping with men does perpetrate the harmful stereotype that men can "turn" a lesbian straight. So do what's right for you but also be mindful how your actions might harm the lesbian community.
i just saw something on tiktok that made me think of this post: it was someone saying how she knew she was lesbian. she said that we have no idea what’s going to happen in the future - maybe one day you will meet the perfect guy and fall in love and that’s great - but if in this moment you don’t feel like you could be with a guy, then go off that - it was basically just saying to listen to how you feel in the present, not how you could possibly feel in the future because there’s no way of knowing that
