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Am I denying because my parents are transphobic?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by nevers, Apr 18, 2015.

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  1. nevers

    nevers
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2015
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    Location:
    Chicago
    Out Status:
    All but family
    So I'm 100% identifying as a transguy, and at this moment I am really positive I want to transition when I can start but what makes me want to just forget about the whole thing is my family. If I want to be who I am, my parents will disown me and I can never talk to them again. They will talk shit about me and be ashamed and think they screwed up on me when I was growing up. It hurts my feelings that when I come out my parents will think they screwed up on me and that I'm a failure to them. It makes me want to just drop it and pretend to be female like I have my whole life. I don't want to be female though, my dysphoria gives me suicidal thoughts. I don't know if I should just disconnect from them and pretend not to have parents and go stealth. It hurts me that I'll be different and be asked about my past and I don't know if I'm just denying my gender because of my transphobic parents. I hate them for making me feel so shitty.
     
    #1 nevers, Apr 18, 2015
  2. TJ

    TJ
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Lawrence, KS
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm not familiar with who you are or what your background is, but I can tell that you have a lot of fear about coming out to your parents. Have they said a lot of things that make you feel like they would disown you? Have they specifically said that they would disown a trans child?

    You know your parents better than we do, but I just want to make sure that you're not jumping the gun on whether or not they'll disown you.
    If they've said it to you before, I definitely believe you, but you would be surprised how much parents will change when it's their own child who is LGBT.

    I wish you the best of luck in everything, and I hope things go well for you, whatever you decide to do.
     
    #2 TJ, Apr 18, 2015
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