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Am I contributing to stereotypes?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Rdougall1, Mar 4, 2017.

  1. Rdougall1

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    Hi there,

    I know this is going to sound like I want a pity party but I'm going to post anyway. Recently, I started to explore my gender identity because I feel like in order to fully accept myself as gay, I felt like I would be happier socializing with girls on a personal level and viewing guys as more of someone who I would like to date. Since I have started gossiping and socializing with other females, I have become more comfortable in my sexuality and my inner feelings. However, there is still a part of me that feels guilty for acting more feminine because I feel like I am contributing to the common cultural phenomenon in which all gay men like more feminine habits and straight men like sports and whatnot. As a result, I feel like I'm making it more difficult more masculine gay men to be accepted into society. Do you know how I can get over these feelings?
     
  2. Mihael

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    By being who you are, you're not harming them. On the flip side, didn't you think they are harming you by telling you to act like someone you're not just for them to make it easier? Sure, you'd be herming the masculine gay men by claiming out and about that all gay men are feminine. But there is a boundary. It doesn't cost you much to not claim such things and to be an open and accepting person, who advocates diversity. But it costs you an awful lot to not be yourself.
     
    #2 Mihael, Mar 4, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2017
  3. MisterMissy

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    It this feminine gossiping person who loves hanging with other girls is you, then you do you. No one should be able to tell you you can't be who you are, especially in the LGBTQ community. This is basically our whole manifesto.
     
  4. baconpox

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    No. Ultimately, the point of breaking down stereotypes is so that people can comfortably be themselves, so trying to get rid of them by not being yourself doesn't make much sense.
     
  5. EverDeer

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    Maybe the reason you feel guilty moreso is because sadly men are taught that femininity makes them less of a man and therefore failures as men, or just contributing to a negative gay image (which is really just more crap being put on feminity and perpetuating homophobia). It's okay to want to explore your gender identity or expression, and it's great that you were confident enough to turn to others for it. Lots of people are feminine and not ashamed of it, which is probably why you also wanted to learn from other feminine women too. You're just being yourself and that's great!! Don't feel bad about that because loads of people are feminine, not matter their gender, and if someone else sees that as a bad thing then that's their personal problem.
     
  6. Assassin'sKat

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    Just stop worrying about it. Do what makes you happy.
     
  7. Rdougall1

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    Thank you guys. I'm just trying to figure out myself and this really helped
     
  8. Irisviel

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    you are contributing to stereotypes but so does every typical person on the planet. I cry to movies, so I guess I contribute to "women cry at movies" stereotype. It's just how things are and that's fine. So instead of "do I contribute to stereotype" question you should ask yourself, why the expectation to not be a stereotype should define your life in the first place. You can't deny yourself being you just to defy some typical perceptions.