So for most of my life I Identified as heterosexual but I’ve always had this nagging feeling that something was off. I found boys in school cute and liked them, but always found myself looking up “girls kissing” or lesbian porn. I remember as a kid/young teen finding sleepovers with some of my girl friends exciting and hoped on an occasion something would happen. I always pushed those thoughts away though. when I got to high school I remember crying to my counselor saying I was scared I was bisexual and when she asked me why, I couldn’t really tell her. It wasn’t like I had a crush on a girl or anything. At least that was until I was 19/20. I met this girl (she is a lesbian) and absolutely fell for her. I remember crying because it scared me but I was so into I would’ve left my boyfriend for her. I tried to convince my boyfriend to let us have an open relationship so I could explore that side of me but he said no, so nothing happened. Fast forward to me being 25 years old I tried to convince my other boyfriend at the time to let me be with women too, he said no. So that was that. But now at 26 I’m single and met a girl and she’s the only girl since the other one who I’ve been crazy attracted to. We’ve had sex a few times and I’m just so confused. I wanna be with her but sometimes idk how to cause I’m so used to men. After this girl, I feel like idk how to look at men anymore. what does any of this mean??
Well, to answer your primary question. It does seem like you're bisexual. Concerning your confusion, I believe that's completly normal. If you're 26 you probably grew up in a society that was primarily focused on hetero relationships and as you've been in two yourself it's basically a new world. I wouldn't worry to much. Enjoy your time with that woman and just live on. You'll get used to this new perspective.
Hi and welcome to EC. It’s not uncommon to discover new aspects of your sexuality (relatively) later in life or even that your sexuality is completely different to what you previously thought. However, it can be incredibly confusing and it can take some time to process and accept your new understanding of your sexuality. So, deep breaths and be kind to yourself and things will probably become clearer with time. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about how you‘re feeling? As with a relationship, communication is really important.
You def sound like bisexual to me. Someone here could just flat out tell you that you're bi but before that, it's more important that you explore more of that side, and slowly get used to it.
Hi, thanks for replying! It’s confusing cause when I’m with her I feel happy but when I’m not I feel confused and wanna run away but I’m not sure if that’s out of fear. I have spoken to her and she understands that I’m confused but I think she’s nervous I’m gonna run.
If you’re happy with her, could you just enjoy that for the moment? There’s no rush to find a label. With time, things might become clearer. Can you identify what makes you want to run away?
I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder so I over analyze everything and I can’t stop comparing how I am with her vs how I am with men. It’s like I can’t come to terms with the idea that being with a woman feels natural. I keep trying to tell myself I’m straight, but yet I keep coming back to see her multiple times a week. I run out of fear, this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it. I’m trying to find a lgbtq counselor to help me sort through my thoughts and feelings.
Therapy is a really good idea. It really helped me when I was in a difficult situation and I hope it helps you too. Just remember that you may need to met a few different therapists to find the right fit.
