I'm a 14 year old boy and I don't know if I'm bisexual or not. My whole life I've been attracted to girls, sexually and romantically. But recently I found out that sometimes when I look at the male genitalia I find it arousing, and I think I might be in love with my best friend, who is a male, but I'm not really sure. I can't really imagine myself kissing him or dating him and I don't really feel I guess... attracted to him. Unlike when it's with girls I don't feel the need to constantly check if he's online or text him if he is or the need to continue the conversation whenever we talk, nor do I miss him or constantly wonder if he is ok. But then sometimes when I talk to him or look at him I get the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, and other times I feel nothing. Yesterday I was aware of this and I didn't really think a lot about this or about him, but now I do because I'm stressed out and I don't really want any of this. I'm thinking that maybe this is a way that my body found to cope with a heartbreak that I just went through, or maybe it's puberty and hormones and all, but I'm still not sure and I kinda want this feeling to stop. I'm ok with being bisexual maybe in a couple years or so, but not right now. And now with him.
This is tough, and I don't think there's any absolute answer here. At 14, hormones are raging and thoughts and feelings can be all over the place. That said, one of the most reliable indicators of sexual arousal/attraction is masturbation fantasies (without porn). If you find yourself thinking more about guys than girls, or if your arousal is more intense thinking about guys, then you're probably closer to the gay end of the spectrum. If that isn't the case, then you're more likely toward the straight end of the spectrum. One other thing you may not want to hear: Unfortunately, you don't get to choose when or how you feel arousal, so it's not something you can really just "put off" for a couple of years. So as hard as it is, the best route is to simply explore your feelings and work on accepting who you are, whatever that may actually be.
Hmm I don't know, honestly. It sounds like you may be straight but curious about men. Like the poster above mentioned, at 14 you're going through puberty and can experience a lot of different feelings that may go away or stay with you. I didn't realize I was bisexual until I was about 17, so who knows? Maybe I was behind the curve and you're ahead of it. Much like you, I'm often attracted to male genitalia but I don't necessarily find myself checking guys out or anything in public, I think my attraction for women far outweighs by attraction for men, but I'm certainly bisexual. I know I'm not 100% straight, that's for sure. I rarely am attracted to the idea of kissing a man and am rarely attracted to men's bodies; I certainly prefer looking at, kissing and being with women. But either way, whatever you are, it's okay. You're worth love regardless of what you are. And you don't necessarily have to define yourself right now if you don't want to. Sexuality is a strange thing and we don't always have to put labels on it, though I understand the urge you feel in trying to understand what these feelings are.
