I am a young gay person (23) who only had the guts to come out last year. However I only came out after a spurt of depression and a suicide attempt last year, I have hidden all of this from my family (apart from being gay) Trying suicide was a no brainer for me, I have parents who apparently love me (I am an IVF child) but I never loved them back, I hid who I am from them, I lied etc. since I was 13 about so much of my life. I didn't care that my suicide would ruin their lives as well, I just assumed that everyone resented me. They love me but I didn't care. It makes me think that I am a bad person for this, I never trusted them despite them loving me.
I dont think you are a bad person because you did what you though was right . If you now know that you were wrong back then its totaly fine. Forget the past and think about the future.
You are not a bad person; you were just going through a rough stage in your life that hopefully you are out of now. If you have issues with your parents, why is this? There is probably a reason, and not because you are a 'bad person'. Maybe you could consider therapy if you still have issues and they are willing to go along with you? Just a thought.
Your not a bad person. The victim of suicide or suicidal thoughts are the people who do or feel it. I'm sorry you felt like that. Lots of teenagers are dicks to there parents it's a part of teenagehood lol. I hope your don't feel bad anymore. Didn't you have a boyfriend, have you talked to him (if your still (or ever were) together))?
How can you be a bad person for simply perceiving things differently to the way they were, and acting accordingly? Yeah, maybe you were wrong. It doesn't make you a bad person.
I could have killed myself, my parents would be devastated without any idea what was going on in my messed up mind how evil am I? They still don't know about the attempt. I would have probably indirectly killed my own parents. I am their only kid, since my Aunt has cut contact I am the only family they have. What kind of son doesn't trust his own parents (who love me) for no reason at all. They deserve better than me ---------- Post added 7th Nov 2013 at 10:03 PM ---------- Yes I have a boyfriend but he is a better person than me and has a healthy relationship with his parents. I haven't visited them in person since August (Well I live in a different country but still)
No such thing as a bad person. You can have a sense morals that is twisted backwards, but you didn't twist them. People do what they think is right, what they think is their only choice, or at least the most logical choice. Sometimes they're wrong, like murder or suicide, but so what? That's what therapy is for and they call prisons "correctional facilities " for a reason. Our culture places far too much emphasis on justice, right and wrong, black and white, but the world is greyscale. The fact that you worry about being a bad person shows me you aren't, you did something wrong and you feel bad about it, that's called a conscience, something far too few have today.
You were wrong. So many of us were. Myself included. You could have killed yourself, but you didn't. Yes, you attempted to, and perhaps it was just luck that stopped you, but you can't blame yourself for the consequences of severe depression. At some point, you decided not to kill yourself, and that is one of the most selfless things you could have done. To me, evil is the intent to hurt without justification. I don't know exactly what was going through your mind while you were suicidal, but you said it yourself, you assumed your parents resented you. You were feeling hopeless, etc, and thought the best option was to end it all. Thats not evil. Thats just human. You didn't trust them, yeah, and while your justification doesn't make sense to your depression-free mind, doesn't mean you didn't have one, and doesn't mean it didn't make sense to you once. You say they don't know about the attempt. Well, neither do mine. I'm not telling them for a variety of reasons. I don't want them to know how close they were to losing me, because it would hurt them. It would also change the way they saw me. Most of all, I thought that my parents were partially to blame for causing my depression (okay, thats actually true, though they won't accept it), and I don't want them to feel responsible for it. Its up to you what you tell them about it, but don't think that protecting them from the truth is necessarily a bad thing. Also, one last thing. If you think you, who suffered depression and suicidal feelings, and wrongly assumed your parents were/would be hostile towards your sexuality are evil, what about everyone else who's been in your situation? Do you think they're evil as well? Because I'm guessing thats a fair number of people on EC.
You can be depressed and suicidal for legit reasons that have nothing to do with your parents. If you think society at large hates you, well that alone can set someone over the edge. I've also found that some people just can't stand being "different" even in an environment that would accept them. Regardless of the reason, when you attempted i'm sure you felt under siege and that drove your actions. It's too easy to look back and say you shoulda done this or that.
