Hello all, I'm a 16 year old guy from Ireland and ive been having, difficulties in regards to sexuality. I know I cant be completely gay, because I'm 100% attracted to women, obviously when I feel started to feel attractions to women I didn't supress thse feelings because I've had no real reason to. But, for nearly as long as I have liked women, I have had fantasies with men. I kept suppressing these as being stupid and tried to convince myself that it was only a stupid phase. Now, I've started to find boys in my class subconsciously attractive and it's only getting stronger, its almost on par now with my attraction to the girls. I know that I am definitely bi, but my main problem is that I cannot except it, no matter how hard I try. It feels like deep down, theres a part reluctant to give in. Heck, a part of me feels stupid writing this even though I know it to be true. How do I stop that and come to terms with my sexuality. Thanks for reading
What you're feeling is completely normal. As we process any loss (in this case, loss of being perceived as straight) there are stages we go through: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. They aren't necessarily linear, and can take anywhere from hours to months (sometimes longer) to fully process. So the very fact you're here, joining this site, and talking about your feelings, tells me that you're well on your way to accepting yourself. One of the most reliable ways to look at your core attractions is to look at your masturbation fantasies (without using porn). When you are simply using fantasy, alternate between fantasizing about men and then women, and see what happens. Do both arouse you equally? Does one arouse you more than the other? This can be a really helpful way of clarifying, as the response is coming from your unconscious and less affected by your conscious mind's desire to reject the notion of bisexuallity. I hope you'll stick around, as talking about what you're feeling and experiencing is one of the best ways to better understand yourself.
Thanks for taking the time to respond to me, I have done the test and it feels lile men appeal to me more than woman, but not by much. I intend to stick around here because it seems like a nice community and is very helpful
I have come to realize that todays younger people have a need to label themselves. I realize I am much older but I offer you some perspective. Read any book on sexuality and it will tell you it is natural for a boy to be attracted to boys and girls. Boy have the same equipment and you compare. Its subconscious but you do. Girls have mysterious equipment and that is exciting as well. WHen you leaarn to masturbate it is easier to get a guy to masturbate with you becuase if it was like me, we compared dicks as our first introduction to boy-boy activity. Playing with girst when you are under teenage year is looked down upon with good reason. Teanagers are suppose to seek knowledge. Playing with girls, understanding their mechanics is a wonderful journey. What was so terriffic I was able from the youngest age to play with boys and girls. As a senior citizen I still do, still masturbate, still look at porn and appreciate everything I did. I never declared myself one way or the other and I recommend you do the same. Good Luck
Awesome that you plan to stick around! One thing that can complicate matters for people that feel same-sex attraction is the impact that society's judgment has on us. So it isn't uncommon, for example, to feel some level of guilt or revulsion after masturbating to same-sex fantasies, nor is it uncommon to find that, over time, the same-sex fantasies and intensity of the masturbation experience grow stronger than the opposite-sex fantasies, as your unconscious becomes more comfortable with the idea of same-sex attraction. I want to be clear that I'm not suggesting this is definitely the case for you, more that it is quite possible that things might go in this direction. If it's comfortable for you, I do suggest focusing on fantasy-based masturbation rather than porn if you're feeling unclear of your attractions, as sticking with the fantasies will help you gain a better understanding of your attractions.
