I know, I know. Those are literal opposites as far as gender goes, but I really need help. So, I don't understand gender. Like, at all. I don't get how someone can feel like they're this gender, those genders, usually that one, etc. That being said, I definitely fluctuate between feeling masculine, feminine, and "meh". Does that make me agender with just a fluid gender expression or gender fluid?
Depends. When you feel more masculine, do you always end up more drawn to the "male" side of things? Like wanting to be referred to as he/him or a boy, etc. or do you have a longing for "male" body parts or features rather than just androgynous ones? When you're feeling more feminine, do you feel more drawn to wanting a "female" body, she/her pronouns or being called a girl? Or does any of this matter at all based on how you're presenting? I'd say if you feel it strongly does matter, you could be more genderfluid, though if you're indifferent to all of it or just see being called a he/him or a man as just another sort of "accessory" that goes along with masculinity, then perhaps you're more agender. For me personally, I consider myself more agender, and I'm not entirely indifferent to pronouns, names, etc. because being called a girl and always she/her causes me discomfort, but that's also just because I present more masculinely, I sort of see all gender as just kind of outfits we put on, so it doesn't make sense to me why someone would refer to me as a girl when I'm clearly trying to present in a very masculine way. However, when my dysphoria is lower, I usually use that opportunity to present more femininely since it's a time when I don't mind being referred to as female, and I am indifferent to my body as well. For some people, expression walks hand in hand with identity, and for others it does not, so you have to learn how you experience it.
