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Aftermath of hooking up with "straight" guys

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by IDKWhattodo, Mar 24, 2008.

  1. IDKWhattodo

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    Well.. I seem to hook up with "straight" guys a lot. I don't know what it is, but for some reason thats all I'm attracted to. I mean.. we both mess around with each other, but it's awkward after. I'm out now to everyone, but they all try to forget things happened. I think every guy I've hooked up with is gay and in denial. They are all super hot and very straight-acting. Some even have girlfriends. Why would they hook up with me if they are straight? I just don't know how to deal with it. It's getting really annoying.

    Any advice?
     
  2. CrimsonThunder

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    They aren't straight. Simple.
     
  3. Alexander

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    First thing: let them initiate sexual stuff. Second thing: if they do, that doesn't mean they're gay, but it's safe to assume that they are. However, we can't know what's in their minds, so you will have to talk to them about it and reassure them that it's ok to be gay and all that stuff. It's your responsibility if you're cheating on their gfs with them.
     
  4. Lexington

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    >>>Why would they hook up with me if they are straight?

    Because you're ideal for it.
    Because they're curious.
    Because you'll mess around with them without any "complications" afterwards.

    Lex
     
  5. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    They hook up with you because they are bicurious/bi/gay and in denial, and they find you hot. They may be the only gay guy they know who they trust enough to "fool around" with. It's tough for you, but they're using you as their experimentation block. :frowning2: If this is hurting you, maybe you should try being more strict with yourself - don't get into situations with guys you think will do this to you.
     
  6. Jim1454

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    That's what I was thinking. You need to make sure that you're getting together with guys that are not already attached. That is, unless you're OK with just fooling around / sex. Try having a non-physical relationship with someone before you get to 'fooling around'...

    So often guys get the impression that gay sex 'is just like that' - once it's over, the guys get dressed and part ways and don't talk again. Well - it doesn't HAVE to be that way. Take it from me - the sex / 'fooling around' gets even BETTER when you're with someone that you really like and can relate to on other levels beyond just being physical. Give it a try... and find out for yourself. :icon_wink
     
  7. Étoile

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    I think you should be more picky when it comes to who you want to get busy with. I think having 'no strings attached' sex with "straight"/bi-curious/confused guys just leads to awkwardness and hurt feelings, especially if the gay guy develop feelings for the confused one. If the girlfriends are unsuspecting (which they probably are), things can get ugly fast if they finds out. Being 'on the downlow' is dangerous for all parties involved.

    Instead of giving them a quickie, maybe you should talk to them about their feelings. You should let them know that you are not a blow-up doll and can be there for them, besides when they want some sexual release. And if you don't want to deal with the drama, just stop fooling around with "straight" guys. You have feelings and desires beyond sex and you should find someone that's comfortable with their sexuality, who doesn't want to have their cake and eat it too.