Hey everyone, I am only out to one other gay friend. He has been absoloutly awesome... Anyway, I have been thinking about coming out for a while, but a few issues (mainly me being a coward) has stopped me. I have thought a lot about the possible repercussions of coming out. but I really haven't thought of anything beyond that. How has you experiences been after coming out in the long term? Did people/colleagues/friends/family begin to look as you differently? For the better? Did you become the 'gay' friend instead of the friend your mates have always know? Were there any negatives of coming out?
After I came out bisexual I didn't face very much backlash. Infact, most people seemed to forget about it. I was never seen as the gay friend or really any differently than I had been before. The only negative was that it was kind of awkward after I came out to my family for about a week, but that was all in my head. If you're in a position where you can I recommend it, it's more freeing than anything.
I could talk about what things have or haven't changed since I came out, but I'm not sure it would be that beneficial to you. Basically, life after coming out has been, for me, exactly what I imagined it to be before I came out. I correctly guessed the reactions of almost everyone I've come out to. I'm lucky enough to have great friends and live in a place where people who aren't my friends don't give a damn. My mother doesn't approve, so we just don't talk about it. Whether or not people see you differently, whether or not your friends start introducing you as "This is j13, he's gay," depends on your friends, not on what happened to other people. You know your friends and family better than we do, and you know better than we do how they will react. I just want to say that provided no one is going to be violent or kick you out, you shouldn't worry too much about life after coming out. In most cases, it's going to be better than life before coming out. It's liberating. It's not going to be perfect, and yes, there may be some negatives -- but you're out, you're yourself, you're free.
My friends see me the same way as before pretty much. Only they're comfortable talking about guys with me.
Coming Out has been so relieving. My friends treat me no differently now that they know I'm gay. I'm still the same Jim it's just that people now know I like dudes. That's the only difference. It's such a different world today. People look at being Gay today so much differently. ---------- Post added 31st Jul 2015 at 10:07 AM ---------- A lot of difference in that post.
thank you all for your replies. I find all your experiences interesting. Im glad most of them have been pleasant. Maybe I am overthinging things. Or maybe I am not giving my family and friends enough credit by thinking that they will respond badly. It has give me food for thought
so far my friends have been pretty good about it... I think they were surprised a little , but happy for me to be what ever I want..
Most people really don't care today. It is what it is. Those that do care and have a problem with it, don't matter.
When I first came out to my family and close friends, I was really scared they'd react badly. None of them did, and some of the even said they already knew. I think we humans are wired to always fear the worst, in order to protect ourselves and prepare for bad situations. None of them see me differently, and me coming out even gave some of my friends courage to come out themselves, so I'm definitely not "the bisexual/gay friend". As I'm still struggling with whether or not to come out to aquaintances, my advice to you would be to start with the people who know you best, and whom you trust the most. They're the ones most likely to recognise that you're no different from before you came out, and they can be there for you should you need someone to talk to about it later on. Good luck! (*hug*)
