Hi guys, Just wondering if you could best advise me. I'm a 30 (soon to be 31 year old) gay guy who came out a little over 2 years ago. Since I've come out the most I've done sexually is oral with a pal of mine. I've always wanted to bottom but was a little bit apprehensive. There's a guy who I've been chatting with lately via a hook up app who I like the look of. He's older (48) which to me is a plus as I've always wanted to hook up with older guy. However I just wonder now if the age gap is too great? I'm not interested in a relationship. Also I don't know how to explain to him that I've never gone 'all the way' before either. Any advice would be hugely appreciated, Thanks M
Hey M, coming from an older guy(49), I’d say the age gap doesn’t matter as long as you’re comfortable with the other person. I find myself attracted to much younger men myself.
Paddy There is not a right way or a wrong way to explore. There is only YOUR way. It sounds like you are getting ahead of yourself here since you haven't even met the guy. In my limited experience, I found that getting on an app and deciding what you will do ahead of time is not the best thing. Then getting together, there are expectations and potential disappointment. Maybe meet the guy if you really think you have something in common and just let it develop and not be in a hurry. The age gap can be an issue if you are looking for a long term relationship. I recently had my "first" with a man 35 years younger than me and we had a great time for a couple months. It worked for us because we had a compelling interest in common that allowed us to become friends. But, age differences can make that difficult in most cases. I would also caution you about getting into a relationship with unbalanced "power". This can happen with a large age difference. Exploration and sexual sharing should be on equal footing to be fulfilling. Be sure you see this guy as an equal. My two cents from someone who, only recently, explored some myself.
For hook ups age doesn't matter at your age so you are good in that regard. On how to tell him, be completely honest with him. Tell him you have never bottomed but you are curious on trying. He needs to know because hookign up with a person who hasn't bottomed before goes completely differently with someone who has done it multiple times. Mainly because you don't know your body so the top has to be extra cautious to make sure he isn't hurting you and that you are enjoying your time. On that note, not all tops are good lovers. You need a guy who will be patient and willing to show you the ropes. Bottoming should never be painful so any top that tells you "suck it up it will go away" is trash. Also don't be surprised if you aren't able to bottom your first time. It personally took me 2-3 tries to finally get it right. You can experiment with the guy fingering you or him using small toys on your if it doesn't work out.
