Accepting Your Gay Child

This NEEDS to be stickied!!!

 

it's always a relief reading something like this

 

Although I think it's a really good source this part pissed me off, honestly;

LGBT people are nothing like those suffering from down syndrome or birth defects and I think it does a disservice to both us and the mentally/physically challenged by perpetuating any sort of comparison.

 

but our parents may see it as a defect and this kind of speak that language, its directed to the parent, not us

 

I think this would be helpful as well I haven't came out yet. Maybe I'll show my mom this to. It may be very helpful for her to get through the truth if she finds it tough for her. I hope not but this will still be good for the both of us for sure.

 

Parts of it really offended me too... but reading through this I realized my mother surely felt (and still does feel) a lot more negatively about homosexuality then even these parents might have. While it was offensive to someone like me, it might have been incredibly helpful to a parent who has just as many negative connotations about homosexuality.

That being said, I get the feeling these parents have still just come to see being gay as something to be tolerated, not something to be proud of. That's my issue.

edit: "We are neither ashamed of nor embarrassed by this fact about Adam. To the contrary, we are extremely proud of our son for he possesses all of the attributes of true manhood. He is intelligent, hardworking and creative. He is loyal, loving and compassionate, but most of all he is courageous. He is tough as nails, tougher than any other kid we know for the amount of abuse he has and must endure on a regular basis."

-To me, this passage says, "Well, we're okay with our son now because he still acts like a man. Its not like he's one of those girly gays."

 

"LGBT people are nothing like those suffering from down syndrome or birth defects..."

I think the article is from the perspective of parents who would consider both homosexuality and intellectual disabilities "imperfections". Perhaps you think the two are unrelated because you think that intellectual disability truly is an imperfection, while homosexuality is not? Just interested in why that part pissed you off so much...

I think the two may be more linked than you think. While there are many conditions that are guaranteed to cause suffering (Tay-Sachs, for example), I don't believe that Down Syndrome is one of them (sure, you could bring up potential health problems as a source of "suffering", but that is not what most people think of when they hear Down Syndrome). So, people really "suffer" from Down Syndrome in the same way people "suffer" from homosexuality: through rejection, in ways both subtle and overt, by society.

 

I just wanted to thank you for sharing this link. I read the entire thing, and it inspired me to write my coming out letter to my mom.

Much love

 

Exactly. Down syndrome really does impair people, tragically. What can I not do because I happen to like other boys? Nothing.

That's as far as any comparison could possibly go in my opinion and I don't think it's a particularly good one. These parents aren't really "there" yet if you know what I mean. They still have a ways to go if what I read is any sort of indication. I agree with what Jon said too.

 

Very refreshing to find something like this on the internet. Also refreshing to see that a deeply Christian family managed to overcome the dogma of Homosexuality by undertaking their own studies of their religion. I only hope that this becomes some kind of widely used tool or even a self help book for parents as this, in my eyes, is a rich resource that could help many a parent open their eyes to their close minded attitudes to Homosexuality.

As for the wording, it doesn't matter to me. I could read into it all day long and come out with several meanings. As long as they are accepting then what is between doesn't matter. One cannot expect miracles, only breakthroughs.