I've been friends with my roommate for two years already. He's actually one of my closest friends. We would share stories, experiences and even our dreams and aspirations to each other. We even trust each other with big decisions that we have to make. One of those decisions that I shared with him is the my decision to come out. Initially, he doesn't have any idea that I am a bisexual but being one of my closest friends, I felt that I have to tell him. Luckily, he accepted me as who I am. He even encouraged me to tell it to other people. Everything went on as it has always been. He accepted me though in church (He's my churchmate), we had a stand against it. Then came the time that I had fallen in love with him. I kept it to myself until the point that I can't hide anymore. I sent him a text message about it. i was so afraid he would reject me. and sadly he did. i knew he was straight so i quietly moved on. but there was a time that i found that he was not exactly straight. There were times when he leaves his laptop on when he goes out, I would look through his laptop (sorry for being nosy) and I would find gay porn. I was excited because there's still a chance but I was also bothered. He always post "straight" stuff in facebook. Well i was like that before during my in-denial period. anyway, i always catch him pretending to be sleeping while watching me while i'm putting on my clothes. there was also times when we sleep on one bed and I would hug him and cuddle with him and he has nothing against it. I want him to accept his sexuality but I don't know how. He doesn't know that I know and I can't tell him because he might be angry at the way I found out about it.
Hey Michael07, welcome to EC! It's amazing what happens when we are in love and only see what we want to see! You're right about one thing, he will be angry (to what degree I don't know) about you violating his privacy (I would personally not take it well). Yes there are hints and clues, but until he is ready to come to terms, how he identifies his orientation is sacred ground, and unfortunately, any trespass will not be tolerated. Do you want to risk losing what appears to be a solid friendship? You did the right things, you came out to him and you confessed your love for him, you made yourself appropriately vulnerable, but that's just it, being vulnerable means you could get hurt, and it hurt when he refused to accept it. You need to come to terms with his being straight (until further notice), you can't force it out of him, and pointing out certain "things" will likely piss him off. The best advice I could give you is to imagine yourself in his place, really try to see this from his point of view. This could help you understand...and grieve a little for what might have been.
