Greetings folks, Came across this site many years ago, it has some really good stuff on masculinity. It must have resonated with me back then as I grew up with a mother and three sisters, not much male influence other than the darkness of a cruel stepfather. Anyway this particular article struck a chord with me, it is fascinating to see photographs of just how intimate male friends once were; before homosexuality was first identified as a distinct behaviour and an identity in the late 19th century, then pathologized by all the "experts", both religious and scientific, in the 20th; reaching its peak in the 50's. The photographs reveal such beautiful intimacy among friends, they also reveal the evolution of homophobia as the decades progress. Particularly touching are the photographs of soldiers and sailors, where it is well-known that deep friendships are forged in the heat of battle. Take a look: Male Affection: A Photographic History Tour | The Art of Manliness The article ends with an equally interesting discussion on a resurgence of intimacy among millenials, possibly as a response to being online so much that there is a hunger for touch. I did notice this with my youngest son once; first day back at school after summer break, he must have been 8 years old, he saw his friend from the previous year and the first thing they did was give each other a long and tight hug...I had tears in my eyes...
Hehehe, I must be lucky to have straight guy friends who are this close to each other. They all have long term gf but every time they see each other they give long hugs and they sit quiet close. Of course our whole group is pretty tight so the interactions between everyone are kinda intimate.
Thanks for sharing this! It's incredible viewing the photos with the eyes of a male born in my era. We talk so much about the closet that society may force us into, but, as I think of it, I'd argue that society has also forced straight men into a closet of fear of doing something that "seems gay." One advantage of being openly gay is that one really doesn't have to worry: if I do this, will I seem gay?
Yes, thanks for sharing this! The comment about millennials really struck me because, as I watch my young friends (24 and 21), I see how they hug everyone they meet, male and female alike. And not in the "safe" sideways hug that professional social workers and child advocates are taught to employ, but in face-to-face, full-body, almost-crushing hugs. This is just how they interact with their world. What a joy to see! (*hug*)
Yes, depending on the time and the cultural circumstances, it was acceptable and no one made a big deal about it. ---------- Post added 4th Mar 2014 at 09:36 PM ---------- Thanks for sharing! That is cool. I believe a milestone in Americana for such expression within the last 10 to 20 years was at a Presidential victory or inaugural address, though I don't remember the Presidency and the parties, as I remember the newscaster calling it out in an appropriate and tasteful way.
That is a really powerful insight BMC, that all men have been negatively affected by this attitude and ideology. After WW2, many men came back to start and raise families, creating the baby boom, but many men felt adrift after the intense camaraderie of the war, further isolating them from essential and emotional male relationships. Who knows what effect this had on our society, but it would be worth a look!
I'm thinking off the top of my head here, this fits in nicely with how varied the reactions seem to be among children of the baby boom toward their children coming out as gay. They grew up during the real uptake on the non-emotional male persona. Some of them grew up in emotionally well-adjusted families and were able to process having a gay child reasonably well, while others grew up emotionally closed off and did not have a good point of reference to handle the situation when their gay child came out. Part of that would be the environment beyond the family; what kind of religious beliefs were prevalent, the community makeup, etc. The parents of the baby boomers, fathers in particular who had those intense friendships borne out of the war, had limited skills to deal with the loss of those close bonds and it had to impact their relationships with their own children, on down the line to us and our own children.
I remember watching movies and TV shows in the 60's and the countless references in these stories to buddies from the Korean and Second World wars. The book The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit exemplifies the history of that generation. The stereotype of the martini-drinking end-of-day returnee from the wars waged in the office jungles must have had some basis in truth; the numbing of feelings too intense to deal with, I suppose.
