A guy I've been seeing went nuts...what to do?

So Ray and I met 5 years ago at work. We used to work together and he often used to talk to me about his sexual experiences as I was open about my sexuality and very few people at work were. I'd guess you could call him bisexual as he had plenty of sex with men and women alike. He'd flirt a lot with me and I would reciprocate, never did anything sexual though. Continued to be friends for a few years, at that time Ray had a girlfriend and I was seeing someone.

Fast forward to summer last year, we both had left the company and coincidentally met in town, exchanged numbers and started texting each other, after some convos and discovering we were both single we started sexting each other and after a while we had meetings every now and then to "release stress" to say the least. This went on for a few months. Most of our meetings were purely sexual.

Because of a certain job Ray took he had to go away for 3 months, so we didn't really text each other through that time. A month ago or so he came back and I sent him a text asking how he was doing and if we could meet. Ray said he missed me, started sexting and we agreed to meet on a certain day. Day arrives and I text him, he doesn't answer, I still go to meeting place, he doesn't show up. Gave him a call, he didn't aswer...later he called me back and explained himself (stuff came up), we talked for a bit and agreed to reschedule later since we weren't really available for the next couple weeks. He again mentioned how he missed me.

Couple of weeks later I tell him my schedule is more free now and I have time to meet, started flirting while texting and he starts going off about how he's not a faggot and started cursing and sending voice notes, even called me to say a bunch of slandering stuff and things got a bit violent on his end as he started screaming through the phone and cursing and what not...I told him I didn't get what was going on, he keeps saying he would never be with a guy and says a few threats and hangs up. Couple of days later I texted him if we could meet at dinner or something to talk things out because I don't know what happened. He hasn't answered since.

I'm confused as f¨ck to say the least...I don't even know what to do. For now I just stopped contacting him altogether., haven't even called him because the last call was so violent. I mean if he's not interested why not just say it? Why deny everything that has happened? I'm very private about the people I have sex with and he knows that. I'm at a loss of what to do, I really enjoyed spending time with him even if we were not in a relationship.

What do you guys think? Any advice on how to follow up?

 

Hey, Chip. thanks for the reply.

Sadly I have been in a similar situation before (though not as crazy) of curious men panicking and going full "I'm striaght" self-hating mode. This time though I'm a bit worried because Ray has always made jokes about how you're supposed to enjoy the pleasures of life no matter the gender while in get togethers or parties, even made comments like "whatever the body asks for". Its just weird he suddenly regressed to a anger denial phase. We have talked before about our lifes but we don't go "I love you" not are we mellow with each other. I was hoping that if he was going through something shit*y he might as well talk about it just for the sake of talking about it...but I guess he's just not comfortable with it. I don't have any plans to contact him as I agree giving him space is the best option and the journey is for him to travel. In a couple of months maybe I will text him in a friendly -let's get a couple drinks-, maybe not.

As you say, Mexico has a big "machismo" feel and the place where Ray's from is not really accepting, although people won't bully you and they may seem Ok with it, they will talk behind your back and make jokes about it in your face and whatnot. . He's not religious at all and he's actually divorced and already had kids, he has a civil relation with his ex-wife and he meets his kids regularly. His ex-wife knows about his sexual encounters.

Because we haven't talked in a while I'm thinking something may have happened that could possibly put him in a tight spot as "bisexual" is not really an accepted preference in his town, most people either want to categorize you as gay or just plainly give you a special word(local) that implies that you have a straight life and at the same time you have sex with other men. Maybe his worries that this reach his family ears may have something to do with it. Previously while speaking about categorization the subject that men having sex with other men is not the same as being gay came up and we talked about it for a while.

When I met him he was already divorced and most of the people around him knew about his adventures with men and women. Most people at work even ranked him among the top 5 sl*ts in the company (medium sized) although its mostly because the people he slept with all talked about it proudly, as he's quite attractive. He's had a couple of girlfriends living with him for a while and also has had some stable male sex partners.

Hope I can get closure some day, or maybe that last call and the seen text is that closure ... Man, what a trip though